She's here! She's here!

Introducing the wonderful and lovely
CLAIRE MADISON GARVEY

December 14, 2011
6.40pm
7 pounds, 10 ounces
20.5 inches long
Mini-version of her father
The best Christmas gift ever

Was I telling myself a story?

"I often wonder if the childhood memories I have of our family Christmas were really as magical as I remember. They are epic in my brain--storybook perfection. And I wonder if maybe there were tears or maybe there was fighting or maybe there weren't a thousand presents like I swear there was. But there is no convincing me it wasn't perfect."

The quote about reminds me of myself. And my brother Jeff. We all have these amazing memories of what our family Christmas was really like growing up. So, naturally, Christmas is our favorite holiday and we spend so much time and energy trying to make it just as perfect as it was the year prior. We both want our kids (his current, my bun-in-the-oven) to be excited and love Christmas as much as we did growing up (and still do). When, really, we are just competing with the ideas from childhood memories. Was it, indeed, that perfect? Or, in the words of a wise woman, was I just telling myself a story?

Either way, Christmas brings with it a special kind of magic. Magic that makes worries disappear, anxieties fade away, differences seem less important and people get along...even if it's just for a day. This year, especially, I look forward to all Christmas has to offer.

Friend Baby Shower

My sister (in law) Lindsi, my best friend growing up Kristen and my cousin Michelle were gracious enough to co-host my Friend Baby Shower for me on October 16, 2011. After my family baby shower, I wasn't quite sure what to expect in regards to my friend baby shower. To tell you the truth, I was a little nervous because I had already received so much at my family shower that I felt a little overwhelmed. Then, once it started and I saw all those familiar faces, I felt at home. I figured the turnout would be just a few close friends, as we are all busy with our own jobs, lives and agendas, but luckily most of those invited were able to celebrate Claire's arrival with me! Just like my family shower, there was great food, fabulous company and great conversation.

My cousin Michelle opened up her new home to all my friends. It was a great place to celebrate as her home is spacious and perfect for entertaining. With this shower, the theme was more glamorous and chic with lime green, black and white with polka dots and celebrated the pregnant mama. The invitations, made by Lindsi, were absolutely adorable with an old-fashioned baby buggy stamped on the front of each one. I just loved the way they turned out and actually got multiple compliments on them from friends. There were cute lime green daisies, the always-adorable diaper cake decoration and a smorgasbord of yummy seasonal delights including pumpkin cookies, a spice cake, my all-time favorite homemade chocolate chip cookies and much more! And for dessert (as if we didn't already have enough sweets!), Kristen made some beautiful cupcakes with lime green frosting in keeping with the theme. All the food and decorations were very well coordinated. I love and appreciate all the little details that these three hosts planned - it's as if they thought of everything!

In between eating the equivalent of the baby's weight in sweets and fresh pineapple, I found time to catch up with friends that I hadn't seen in a while. It was nice to know what everyone is up to and to answer all their questions about baby Claire and becoming a mama. I have know most of the people in attendance since high school or college with the exception of a few that I've known since 4th grade and a few that I just met at work a couple years ago. It was a nice mix of ages, backgrounds and interests. I had this moment at the shower when I realized how interesting life has been since high school and college for all of us. Some are married, some are not. Some are in serious relationships, some are focusing on themselves. Some have careers, some are just working to get by until they find something better. Some have children, some can't imagine having a husband let-alone kids at this age. We have all just chosen our own paths and found the way that is right for us, but when we get together, it's as if nothing has changed. We accept each other the way we are, no questions asked. And it's so funny how time spent with certain people can magically transport you back to that time in your life as if no time has passed at all. I can instantly feel the drama surging when I'm reminiscing with high school friends. I can remember the interesting mix of stress and carefree attitudes of our college days. It's like you have these moments in time when you share a certain bond with someone and you can never seem to move past it. That's what I love about friends...true friends. The ones that are there for the big moments in your life, even if you don't see each other very often. I appreciate everyone that took time out of their busy schedules to rub my belly, share that they still can't believe I'm having a baby and celebrate my little bundle of joy. There really is nothing in life better than true friends.

When we found a moment to breathe between all the gossip and laughter, I opened my pile of beautiful gifts. Baby Claire and I got so much, I don't know where we're going to store it all! Feels like I just kept opening and opening forever. We also played a really fun game. Lindsi handed everyone a chunk of playdough and told the guests they each had 5 minutes to fashion a what they think baby Claire will look like. Everyone got really into it! Then, it was my job as the mama, to judge all the dough babies and decide whose I liked best. Mostly everyone did a good job, with the exception of a few that looked like an alien :) Very creative game. I'll remember it for the next shower I host, for sure.

And forgive me, but my pregnancy brain has reached a stand-still and I am unsure how to wrap up this post. So, I'll finish off by saying my friend shower was so much fun. I couldn't have asked for anything more. I left feeling very blessed, very loved and took with me a car full of gifts mixed in with an overwhelming sense of joy knowing there are so many that truly care about me, Kevin and our little one. She is one loved little girl!

Family Baby Shower

It's been over 2 months, 74 days to be exact, since my family baby shower on September 25, 2011. I have had good intentions on getting my baby shower details and photos on the blog but sometimes, especially when pregnant, things don't always happen as soon as you'd like them to. But, like they say...better late than never, right? (minus the photos...if we wait for those, it's never gonna happen!)

My family baby shower was beautiful! It really went above and beyond my expectations! My mother and mother-in-law did such a great job planning and plotting every little detail. From the invitations to the decorations to the Whoo Loves You, Baby? owl party theme - everything was personalized, unique and matched my nursery Owl theme. The cakes were beyond adorable, they mimicked the baby shower tableware, and were from my very favorite Beaverton Bakery. Lemon poppyseed with cheesecake filling? Chocolate fudge with fresh raspberry filling? One slice of each? Yes, please.{Pregs has no shame!}

Baby photos of Kevin and I were hung up as decorations along with one of my dresses from when I was a baby. My mom also pulled my old, beloved doll out of storage to display at the shower. I hadn't seen her in years! Her bald head, her leg half-falling off and her face only a mother could love...what a great memory from my childhood. And I still love her just as much! One day, I hope Claire will love her just like I did growing up. It's the personal touches like the doll and the baby clothes that really made the day seem catered to me and I loved it. There was so much good food, great people and even better conversation.

In talking with each guest, I really got the feeling that my little bundle of joy means so much to everyone that attended. I loved answering all the questions and sharing my joy regarding becoming a mama. Best of all, I left feeling so supported and loved. All those women in one room...they've all been through what I'm about to go through and I know they will be there every step of the way to support me, guide me and love me as I transition into the mama role. Makes me smile just thinking of it.

In between visiting with guests, eating and opening gifts, we played some fun games including Baby Bingo, the clothespin game (where you can't say baby), the baby girl name game scramble and the always-entertaining measure-how-big-mama-is game. We had some very competitive people at the shower so the games got pretty intense at times. I loved every minute of it. Not only was I blessed by the attendance of my family and some very close family friends, I was blessed by their outpouring of love for my little babe. It seemed like I was opening up gifts for hours. When Kevin and I got home and unloaded all the gifts into the nursery, we couldn't believe all the clothes, baby necessities and diapers we were given. We still feel blessed and so grateful for all the love, support and gifts for baby Claire. Once the guests slowly trickled out, we took down the decorations, cleaned up the mess, organized the gifts and ended the night with family at PF Changs. Overall, it was a good day and one that I will never forget. It really made me feel so special. I enjoyed celebrating the coming arrival of my little Claire Madison with those that mean so much to me.

What we're up to...

Or, the lack thereof. Yes, Kevin and I have been busy with getting things prepared for our little Christmas gift soon to arrive but we've also been trying to cut back and relax. It's been an interesting mix of rushing through the to-do list and sinking into the chance to just veg-out together. This past weekend, although short, did offer us the time to be quite productive.

The night table, mirror, frame and the changing table are finally done being refurbished. We got those items set up in Claire's room last night. I'm sure Kevin feels very relieved, as I was becoming an anxious mama. More info and photos to come on Claire's nursery soon1

We trekked through what seemed like every single Christmas tree stand and farm from Canby to Oregon City looking for that perfect tree. You know the one that's just the right height, just the perfect shape, sturdy branches and an affordable price tag. We finally found it at the friendly family-owned Batcheller U-Cut tree farm which I believe is technically in Oregon City. Kevin did his husbandly (fatherly) duty of chopping it down and I, although I shouldn't have, did help him carry it through the farm to the bundler. It was so huge, it barely fit into Kevin's Rav4 so on the way back, I got to sit nestled up to the tree without a seatbelt or proper seat at all. Sorry, dad, but sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do!

Can I just say that the trees look so much smaller on a lot than in your house. As it stands now, the star sits about 3 inches shy of our very tall ceiling. Oh well, it was fun to decorate. Photos to come soon!

We attended our 6th and final class at Portland Providence. After a 4-part series on childbirth and a one-time class on breastfeeding, we really looked forward to the newborn care class. It was interesting, we learned alot. More to come on that class soon! I finally gained the stamina and motivation to complete the task that was bothering me the most - organizing our big walk-in closet. It took a couple hours, a couple sitting breaks and more than a couple loads of laundry to accomplish...but it's done! Hallelujah, amen!Last night, in tradition of following all those old myths about how to make baby arrive, we chowed down on a huge crockpot full of spicy chicken with fresh pineapple curry. Obviously, since the baby is kicking me from the inside, it didn't work but it did taste delicious!!This is my last week(!) at work. I couldn't be happier. Now if only this baby would arrive. Sooner rather than later would be nice. This mama's getting tired!

Big Night Out!

A beautiful city draped in white lights, calorie-laden bread dipped in melted cheese and fruits/desserts dipped in melted chocolate. What more could a Pregs ask for? Except mayyyybe one of their exceptional martini's....but, I digress. Tonight, Kevin and I are taking advantage of quite possibly our last Friday night as a family of 2 by celebrating at The Melting Pot in Portland. Reservation at 7.15pm and then off to see the decorated Christmas Tree at Pioneer Square (in the middle of the city). Tonight, my friends, is gonna be a good night!

My thoughts at 38 weeks

At 38 weeks pregnant, let's just say pretty much everything either hurts, is uncomfortable, is swollen, is tender or is a hodge-podge combination of all of them. Today, I waddled my way on swollen feet into the appointment with Kevin and a full-bladder in tow. I think Nurse Claudia and Doc Johnson both could tell that I am now feeling the urge to hurry this pregnancy along. I'm ready to see the fruits of my labor, so to speak :)

As usual, the appointment consisted of the same ol' thing with a urine sample, blood pressure and weight. All were good! Gained a little extra over the holiday weekend, but when a husband lets a Pregs eats basically an entire homemade pumpkin pie by herself, what do you expect!?! Haha! It wasn't long after Nurse Claudia spouted off some of her best advice like "enjoy your time without baby as much as possible now" and "be sure to sleep as much as you can after baby is born to avoid the baby blues" that Doc Johnson whipped in to get down to business. I told her about all the new changes I've noticed my body going through like the fact that I waddle when I walk, I feel a lot of pressure on my pelvic floor (almost as if I feel a bowling ball is about to fall from between my legs) and that I get cramps and contractions often. Her eyes basically lit up at the sound of these changes - it's exactly what I should be experiencing at this point! She checked on baby's position...that little bugger keeps moving around. It does seem like she's once again in a head-down position, but not quite in the locked-and-loaded station like Doc hoped to see. It's okay, she still has plenty of time (?). After, we listened to her precious da-dum, da-dum, da-dum through the heartbeat monitor - it always makes us smile. Lastly, this week Doc's curiosity got the best of her and she decided to check my cervix to see how much progress, if any, I've made on my own. Thankfully, I'm already dilated to between 2-3 centimeters and, although my cervix positioning is still quite high, it is softening just as it should be. Looks like my body is really preparing itself for Claire's arrival and that's all we can really hope for at this point.

Doc made one discovery that makes me a little nervous, but I'm trying not to over-think it. She casually mentioned that my pelvis is quite narrow and that, if baby's head is large, it may prove difficult passing through. Of course, I could tell she was trying not worry me and her efforts to inform-me-without-scaring-me weren't quite working. I asked her what that might mean for the delivery and she said plenty of factors will come into play like how my body opens up for baby, how big baby's head actually is, how the plates in baby's head adjust to fit through the space and how well the pushing stage goes. It could end up being no problem, it could end up that I need some type of assistance during delivery or it could end up with a c-section. Truth is, nobody knows until we're in the thick of it. So, for now, I'm pushing negative thoughts out of my mind and I'm returning to my positive affirmations: my body was made to do this, I can do this, Kevin will be there to help me and encourage me, everything will be fine, it's all in the Lord's hands and we'll be protected. I can find peace in this things.

Waiting for Claire

*photo of Kevin and I taken by my lovely sis-in-law Lindsi

The anticipation of a new baby brings with it a mix of emotions. At times, I'm so focused on getting things accomplished that I can fight off any feelings of exhaustion or emotional defeat. Other times, like this morning, I tend to cry at the drop of a hat. In the shower I cried because I was so tired and my feet were so swollen it hurt to even stand on them. On the way to work I cried because going to work was the last thing I wanted to be doing. At my desk I cried when a coworker asked if I was ready to not be here anymore because I look tired and frazzled and just not quite me. It's crazy how the emotions can get the best of me sometimes when I've never been an overly-emotional person. But I cry the most when I'm thinking of my little girl, about her birth and about the fact that in two short weeks (or sooner) my identity will shift from being a wife, a daughter, a sister and an aunt to all those things plus mama. Like I said, the anticipation is getting the best of me. I'm ready and willing. Now, it's just a matter of waiting for her to be ready, too.

And for her, I'd wait forever.

A photo, as promised!

As promised, here I am in all my glowing glory at 36 weeks (otherwise known as 9 months) pregnant. If you can't tell by my face, I'm getting ready for baby to arrive :)
And, I'll leave with some of my most proud moments of the Thanksgiving weekend:

A) Putting on my baking clothes to help Kevin in the kitchen the morning of Thanksgiving and realizing my favorite comfy t-shirt is practically busting at the seams. I could feel Kevin shooting me looks and wondering if I knew my belly was hanging out the bottom!

B) Going to the store to buy another carton of eggs in my pajamas and flip-flops. Huffing and puffing my arthritic knees all the way upstairs just to put on jeans was too much effort. But hey, if you can't get away with going to the store in flannel pj's at 9 months pregnant, when can you?

C) Begging my mom, right before the Thanksgiving Day feast, to make the family prayer shorter because I was starving. Yes, not my proudest moment by far!

D) Eating a piece of pumpkin pie for breakfast the morning after Thanksgiving. What baby wants, baby gets :)

My Thanksgivings...

The Thanksgiving holiday brings with it the opportunity to reflect on the past year and the people or opportunities you are truly thankful for. This year, just like the past eight years, Kevin is always on the top of my list. He's not just my spouse, he's everything that I need in a best friend. He's the one that gives me the motivation to get up and go to work everyday and he's the one I get excited to come home to every night. He is home to me.

I am thankful for our beautiful home. It suits us perfectly and really feels like a home. Maybe we don't own it and maybe it's a temporary fix, but it gives us the security and comfort to bring home our new baby. This is the home in which we'll become a family.

Family is another category at the top of my list. This year, I'm especially thankful for the 3 doting grandparents and 2 great-grandparents that are waiting with bated breath to meet the newest member of the Boss and Garvey clans. She's one lucky girl to be loved so much already and she hasn't even arrived yet.

I am so very thankful for all the people that have reached out to us with gifts and encouraging cards for the baby. We feel very blessed in all that we received from friends, family and coworkers. Because of everyone's generosity and support, we feel prepared to welcome this new baby and know that we have so much support. It means more than you know.

Lastly, and perhaps most of all, I am so thankful for a healthy pregnancy and our healthy baby girl. Her papa and I are so anxious to meet her, love on her and teach her all about life. We plan to just soak up every minute with our daughter and take the journey into parenthood one step at a time. No, we may not know exactly what to expect and we won't always know exactly what we're doing, but we'll learn together. It's part of the journey. I'm just so thankful to have a man like Kevin and a family like ours to help us along the way. Little Miss Claire Madison is the best thing to ever happen to us.

This truly is my most memorable Thanksgiving to date. I am sincerely overwhelmed with gratitude and love this year.

37 weeks has arrived!

For those of you that don't know, the 37-week mark is the big one. It's the week that baby is considered full-term and, if she were born anytime between now and Dec 15, she will be perfectly able to function in the outside world. That makes my heart happy. Little Claire Bear, we did it!

Today, we had our second weekly appointment. Fortunately, there isn't much to report other than the norm. My strep culture came back negative. I stepped on the dreaded scale again (no change), left another urine sample (almost peed my pants on way into the office), had my blood pressure checked (still low and healthy), was measured (I'm spot on at 37 weeks) and heard Claire's loud heartbeat (my favorite part). Braxton Hicks is still a regular visitor in addition to even more joint pain (especially in my hands). Overall, Doc Johnson said baby is happy and healthy in there. She didn't check my cervix to see if I was dialated or effaced this week because she said there was no need. It would either only upset me if she had to tell me nothing had changed or make me anxious/anticipate labor starting early if I was already dialated to 3 and 50% effaced. So, I took her advice. We'll see what happens at our appointment next week.

For now, we wait for labor to start. Kevin and I plan to indulge in our last few days/weeks as a newlywed couple. We've been going on dates, cooking together and just basking in the silence for a little longer. As for Claire, she's just going to stay where she is, grow a little stronger, get a little chubbier and wait for the perfect arrival. Most of all, this mama is going to relax as much as possible, finish up the fun projects and commit to being worry-free about the little things that don't really matter.

*PS. Photos to come tomorrow. I promise!

What a hoot!

I've been searching for an owl mobile to hang above the changing table for a month or so now. No such luck. Most I find, although cute, are way overpriced. I have found myself saying I could make that! so often that I decided that's just what I'm going to do. Hello, pattern for cute "Hoot for the Holidays" felt owl ornament and Joann fabrics. Goodbye, spending $75 for something I can make with my own two hands. Wish me luck!

*Plus, the best part is that now I can customize the colors to match exactly. Sounds like a win-win to me :)

36 weeks with Doc Johnson

It's finally arrived - the 36 week mark. The weekly appointments start today through the last 4 weeks of my pregnancy. That means, every Wednesday morning from now until delivery will be spent in her office discussing the health and wellness of the precious little angel I am carrying. It feels surreal that I am going to be sitting there again in seven days, listing off my woes and discussing "what-to-do-if" scenarios. Even Doc Johnson couldn't believe how quickly the time has passed. To me, these past 36 weeks as a whole have flown by but some of the individual days have passed a little more slowly. Overall, I have had a great experience with her thus far.

Today's appointment included a strep culture test done in addition to my belly being measured, weight taken, urine sample taken, blood pressure checked and listening to the baby's heartbeat. My belly is measuring right on track. I've been steadily gaining right at that 1-pound per week gauge that they anticipate. My urine sample had no problems (and let me just say, it's so much easier to give samples now that I have to pee literally every second of every day). My blood pressure is always a little on the lower side of average, falling into the very good category. Baby Claire's heartbeat is as strong as ever. Doc says she's still happy in there, lounging out and enjoying her last few days of peace and quiet.

I went in with a few questions regarding my newly-acquired unquenchable thirst (which could be a sign of gestational diabetes), my Braxton Hicks contractions, and the excessive pain in my joints. Doc says that even though they ruled out gestational diabetes at the 28 week mark, they still test my urine every week for multiple things including high doses of sugar (a sign of gestational diabetes). Since my tests always come out clear and I'm not measuring for a large baby, there's no need to worry about gestational diabetes. The unquenchable thirst is just my body's way of preparing for the birth, of obtaining enough fluid to be regenerating clean amniotic fluid often and to be more hydrated for the delivery. That set my mind at ease. Plus, whoever said drinking too much water was a bad thing, right!?! As far as the Braxton Hicks contractions go, she was pleased to hear that I'm aware of them now. Says it's my uterus practicing and strengthening it's contracting muscles for the final delivery. Basically, it's a good sign that my body is doing what it should be to prepare for the big day! Lastly, our discussion regarding my joints didn't do much but reassure me that it's normal to have joint pain at this stage in pregnancy. My body is producing Relaxin (a hormone, I believe) that loosens my joints in preparation for my pelvis to open up for delivery. Unfortunately, it doesn't only loosen my pelvis, it affects all joints. That's why I feel like I have the toes, ankles, knees, hips, shoulders and fingers of an elderly person. Oh, joy! All in all, it was a short and sweet appointment. She mentioned at the end she expects things to happen in 3 weeks or so, but I'm not taking that literally. Nobody knows when this baby will be born, not even a doctor. So, we parted ways after the usual "I need to hear from you if this, this or this happens" speech and went on our merry way.

On the agenda for tomorrow evening? Our 3-hour breastfeeding preparation class at Portland Providence. Should be informative. I look forward to what it has to offer.

Caution: this is my pity party...

When a lady at my work said she was ready for her baby to be born, I was appalled. Why would you want to rush this beautiful journey? Now, I get it. I don't sleep at all anymore. The last two nights, I've spent on the couch tossing and turning, huffing and puffing, couching and sneezing, grunting and peeing. I maybe got about 3-4 hours each night. I have a cold for which I can't take any medications. I have a giant-approximately-six-pound infant in my abdomen literally sitting on my bladder. I have horrible hip and knee pain that only gets worse throughout the day accompanied with what feels like arthritis in my hands and feet. Finding a comfortable sleep position is next to impossible. To top it all off, I almost popped a hernia when trying to tie my shoe this morning. And, let's be honest, I am having a pity party for myself. I hate to admit it, but I'm ready to have this baby. Did you hear me, sweet baby Claire, your mama is READY!

*Maybe they make this last month the worst month of them all in order for women to gain the courage and, let's face it, sheer desperation to get.this.baby.out.now!

Paint, projects and preparations.

We spent a lot of time organizing and updating the nursery this weekend. Kevin and my mom spent all day taking turns painting the ceiling and the walls. Considering I am a complete control freak and, for some reason completely unlike me, left the paint color choice completely up to Kevin I was a little nervous when he cracked open that paint can. When he described it as"elephant skin" my knees began to shake a little. However, I must admit that I am very impressed with what he chose. Can't wait to share all the before and after pictures I've been taking! So, I'm happy to share that Claire's nursery is definitely coming together. Like I mentioned in an earlier post, I gave myself until this coming Wednesday (the 16th) to get the room completed. Considering Kevin has the day off tomorrow and plans to put the last coat of paint on the walls and a second coat of paint on the side table and changing table, I'd say we'll be able to hit that mark. How exciting!

One item that doesn't need any updating is the beautiful baby bassinet that we received from Kevin's grandmother. This is probably my most favorite item in the baby's room (but it will soon be relocated to our room)! The fabric is beautiful and simple. The grayish-brown, white and yellow colors are subtle, soothing and very chic. Kevin and I couldn't be happier to place our little Claire Bear in this bassinet. It's currently filled with extra sheets and blankets so it looks like I still have a little work cut out for me. Only 4 more weeks to go!

My new friend B.H.

Why, hello, Mr. Braxton Hicks!
Thanks for stopping by. Even though we only met a few days ago, our newly-frequent visits are enough to get my attention and shoot my uncomfortable meter through the roof. You and your deceiving ways have a silly way of stopping me in my tracks, leaving me to question - Is this it? The big moment? And, almost as quickly as you arrive, you've left on your way to bug one of your other lucky friends. So, as I said, thanks for stopping by. I appreciate the fact that you're working so hard to develop your muscle. Whatever can be done on your part to ensure baby arrives in a healthy, reasonable (keyword: reasonable) time frame is much appreciated. Until we meet again!
Love,
Claire's mama

I made it to 35 weeks!

Today, I am 35 weeks. That means Claire is weighing in at 5.25 pounds and measuring over 18 inches in length. She's quickly running out of extra room and packing on the weight like a bear preparing to hibernate. As for me? My uterus is now stretched up under my rib cage. I feel huge, clunky and definitely close to the end. I waddle. It's not a sway, it's not a graceful walk. It's a waddle...and when I look down at my belly as I walk, it also moves from side to side. Lovely. Since my darling little daughter likes to re-position herself multiple times per day, leaving my belly lopsided and tight, I feel uncomfortable often. The heartburn is almost a daily occurrence now. I'm still popping those Tums like candy (and I am considering sending the company a personal thank you card for getting me through some long nights).

As for the big news, I am officially 87.5% done with this pregnancy. How does it feel? Shocking! I truly cannot believe I made it this far. Some days were long, but the entire length of my pregnancy has seemed short. With only five weeks to go, I am filled with mixed emotions. Five weeks seems just around the corner but also too far away. How can this belly stretch five-more-weeks-worth? Can I make my tummy butter last through until the end? How can I wait over a whole month to meet this little creature I've grown? How can I possibly get everything done in only five weeks? How can I be completely prepared for my life to change in only five weeks? Too many questions and not enough time (or energy) to figure out the answers. So, I've officially jumped on the go-with-the-flow bandwagon. Whatever I get done, I get done. Whatever I don't, I don't. It took some time for me to realize that Claire doesn't care if her nursery isn't perfect or her quilt for her bed isn't completed or her closet isn't organized to my standards. She needs love from her mama, her papa, her family and her basic needs met. All the rest is really just stuff. At 35 weeks, I feel comforted in knowing that it will all fall into place eventually. She'll be here soon enough and that's all that matters.

Productive Weekend

I am so proud of Kevin and myself. We got so much accomplished. Not as much as I had planned (but let's be honest, that never happens!), but still enough to check a few things off the list. We finally found some girly glass knobs at Home Depot to replace the ugly white ones on Claire's dresser. It now looks so cute, I could just sing! We used our giftcards to buy our stroller and a few other items at Babies R Us (like the changing table pad and pad cover). Kevin put the stroller together in a flash! I'm so happy with the one we chose - it's very lightweight, easy to open/close, I can lift it with one hand and it won't take up my entire trunk. All huge pluses in my book! On top of that excitement, we ordered a rocking chair that we both love. It's comfy for both of us and it has a reclining feature with the pop-up foot rest. This mama is definitely going to fall asleep in that thing a time or two! Of course, I wanted to order it in a camel brown and Kevin wanted it in dark chocolate brown. We asked the sales clerk how long it would take to arrive. Her reply, much to Kevin's amusement: "In the display chocolate brown color? 7-14 days. In a custom order color? 10-12 weeks." Welp, that compromise was easy :) They were running a special that saved us $80, too! Lastly, we also picked up an adorable changing table we found on craigslist for $25. I'm so in love with it, you have no idea! Kevin spent Sunday sanding it down along with the side table we are going to use to hold a lamp next to the glider. His plan is to spend today priming and painting away. I love it when he takes projects into his own hands and runs with them. I'm excited to see his progress tonight!

After going through Claire's room again, I made a list of what we still need prior to her arrival. Although it's still getting smaller, it seems like a lot:

1. Burp cloths (we only have 1)



2. Bottle nipples (have the bottles, but no nipples)



3. Breast pump



4. Receiving blankets (only have 2)



5. Swaddlers



6. Waterproof mattress cover and sheets



7. Stroller cup holder (not an essential)



8. Stroller accessory tray (not an essential)



9. Sound machine



10. Baby wipes (have plenty of diapers, not any wipes!)



11. Changing table organizer baskets



12. Bottle sleeves (using glass bottles so need silicone safety sleeves)

Looks like November will be a rather budget-busting, expensive month for us. Oh well, such is life. I guess we're just learning that children come with so many unexpected expenses and it will only get worse. That's what we have savings for, right? :) Needless to say, this is all coming together!

Pregnancy does weird things:

1. Do you know what it's like to have to ask your husband to help you get your cumbersome preggo body out of the bathtub? I do.


2. Do you know what it's like to get winded when you bend over to take your clothes out of your front-loading dryer? I do.


3. Do you know what it's like to be so devastated over a half-gallon of melted, accidently-left-out-all-night-by-the-husband Tillamook Pumpkin ice cream that actual tears well-up in your eyes at 7.30am? I do.


4. Do you know what it's like to take your shoes off at night so carefully as to not untie them? I do. Tying my shoes when they are on my feet is actually so difficult now, I'm tempted to look into some velcro ;)


5. Do you know what it's like to feel your baby actually kick your bladder and make you have to pee right-this-second-or-else? I do.

Like I said, pregnancy does weird things.

34 weeks - 6 to go!

At 4 and 3/4 pounds and approximately 18 inches long, baby Claire is now the healthy size of a cantaloupe. Let's just say, her mama is much more aware of her growing size with every passing day. I literally have to grunt to get off the couch or out of bed, not gonna lie. Kevin actually has to come upstairs and help me get out of the bathtub, too! Last night I tried to get myself out and almost gave myself a hernia. (When they say your stomach muscles get weak, they're not kidding!) Not only is she growing like a weed, but she's also slowly losing space to wiggle around in there. That means, much more force when she's moving around to get comfortable in the womb. It's almost like a show - watching the outside of my belly poke out and move in different places. She drags her pointy little elbow or her twinkle toes across my belly and I can easily follow her movements. Literally looks like something is in there trying to get out. Kevin compares it to an alien. Every once in a while, I have to poke an elbow, a hand or a foot and remind her that she can't get out that way. It hurts on occasion but it's more entertaining than anything. She still prefers to be mostly on the right side of my body. So much so at times that my belly looks lopsided! Pretty much every evening, Kevin arrives home from work (after I do) to find me sprawled out on the couch, comfy clothes on, feet elevated, shirt up and my hands on my belly just watching the Claire Show. She continues to be the center of my world.

In other noteworthy news, she's still packing on the fat layers in preparation for life in this big world. Her central nervous system and lungs are continuing to mature. As for the mama, I'm feeling particularly tired, a little overwhelmed and somewhat stressed these days. Clarification: I am not stressed out, but I feel the stress of having a lot to do in a short amount of time. As I tick off one of forty weeks every Wednesday, I feel a stronger sense that the end is near. Restless nights full of rolling over trying to roll over, trying to find a comfortable position and frequent pee breaks (followed by a never-ending thirst quenching drink of water that only leads to more pee breaks) are starting to take a toll on me. Getting through the work day proves more and more difficult. Every time I stand up from my desk, I have to pee. *This has actually become an art because I've learned if I stand up too quickly, I may actually pee my pants. That's no joke! So, coworkers, if you see me walking half-upright down the hallway I'm just trying to keep it all together, ok?* I've actually suggested temporarily moving my desk into the bathroom but for some reason HR has a problem with that. At about 3pm every day, I'm done. I've hit a wall and it's really hard to get past it. Sometimes, making a glass of hot cider or hot cocoa can coax me from my pregnancy coma but it's not guaranteed. It's so funny because I used to be appalled when I'd hear other pregnant women say they were ready for baby to be born to take the burden off their bodies, but now I'm starting to see exactly where they are coming from. Funny how your perspective is always changing. Overall, my little cantaloupe and I are doing just fine. We have a doctor's appointment this afternoon so I'll be sure to keep you posted on it's events.

Our rituals. Plus one.

Day trips to Corvallis, visiting our old stomping grounds, eating at our favorite restaurants
and browsing the local stores. Plus one.

Mattress weekends, camping out on the living room floor with a movie marathon, popcorn and each other. Plus one.

Lazy Sunday morning pancake breakfasts walking the Monst, church and running errands. Plus one.

Relaxing on the couch in the evenings, snuggling, spoiling the Monst and catching up on our favorite shows. Plus one.

Trips to the beach house for the weekend, Mo's, campfires, good eats and great brews at Bill's Tavern and relaxing. Plus one.

Family dinners at mom and dad's, chaos, kids, conversation and usually chicken. Plus one.

Lounging in a king size bed, about 10 pillows, 2 bodies, 1 comforter and 1 Monst. Plus one.

It will definitely be different, but we look forward to the journey. And as for our rituals?

We're going to have to adjust.
We'll learn to adjust.
We're happy to adjust for our little Plus one.

Pictures! Pictures!

In keeping with true pregnant-woman fashion, I have a million things to do but all I want to do is sit here, relishing in the movements of my little babe and dream {and blog} about her. So, that's exactly what I'm going to do. I suppose the laundry pile blocking the door to my washing machine will still be there tomorrow, right? Unfortunately. 

Now, on to bigger and better things. For those of you requesting, I had Kevin snap a photo or two of me this evening. Here I am, in all my unedited swollen glory, just 1 day shy of 34 weeks:

I look at these photos and almost don't recognize myself. Tonight, someone told me that she didn't even notice I was pregnant and she especially didn't think I only had 6 weeks to go. In my head, I was thinking Yeah, okay lady...what'd you think I did? Swallow a basketball for dinner? But she's not the first person to tell me that. I guess I just feel like I look huge because I feel huge. The weight I'm carrying in my belly does not go unnoticed, my friends. You should hear the grunting. Oh, the grunting! But, every time I feel a little move, a little tickle, or a little poke, I'm reminded that it's all worth it. She's totally worth it.

And photo #2? Kevin caught me in my excitement over the crib:

I still smile every time I pass by Claire's nursery and see it standing there so crisp, white and beautiful. I just love it more every day! The crib, to me, is like the wedding dress - the final piece of the puzzle that let's you finally settle in and find peace. Even if the nursery isn't complete, we don't have all the to-do's checked off our list and we feel ill-prepared, it doesn't matter because we do have the crib.

I have the dress, I'm ready to marry. 

I have the crib, I'm ready for my baby girl.

Getting into the holiday spirit!

You know the song, It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.... It starts playing over and over in my head every year when it gets close to the holidays. This year, the holiday spirit has nabbed me a little earlier than usual, assumably because counting down to Claire's expected arrival 10 days prior to Christmas has made Christmas seem that much closer. We already have her Baby's First Christmas outfit hanging in the closet. She'll be the cutest elf in town! I've already been thinking of ordering my yearly ornament from personalizationmall.com and about my yearly donations of toiletries to the Portland Rescue Mission and the Fireman's food/toy drive. I've been frequenting Starbucks for their irresistible peppermint hot chocolates and my heart sinks a little more every time they hand it to me in a non-Christmas cup. I've already watched Christmas with the Kranks and The Family Stone. Soon to be added will be Just Friends, Elf, The Holiday and my all-time favorite Christmas Vacation! Yes, it seems as though I am rushing time a little bit, but I can't help it. In about 6.5 weeks, I'm getting the most precious Christmas gift ever so naturally I want the days to just fly by! Usually, I wait until after Thanksgiving at least but this year, I just feel ready to welcome the cold weather, the bright colors, the music, the baking, the lights, the decorations, the wreaths, the cinnamon toast and cocoa, the snow (hopefully!), the generosity and the true spirit of the season. Unfortunately, I already feel behind on the one big task of the holidays - Christmas shopping! My goal was to have it almost - if not all - done by the end of October. Considering that is next Monday and payday isn't until next Tuesday, I've come to the conclusion that it's time to rethink my goal. So, next weekend it is. I've already made a list and checked it more than twice. Next weekend, I'll be checking things off my list left and right, wrapping up a frenzy and probably sitting in front of Christmas Vacation while I do it. It just seems right. C'mon, Christmas!

My shy girl

Maybe she takes after her mama's stubborn side or her papa's quiet side, but either way, we've got a shy girl on our hands. After three separate attempts at the 4D ultrasound, our little Claire Bear didn't want to reveal much of herself to us and her many other admirers. Consistent with her positioning during our 20 week ultrasound, she was folded in half with her legs straight up on top of her belly holding onto her twinkle toes with her tiny little hands. This position continued through each of the three 4D appointments and her face actually become more hidden at each appointment. So, most of what we saw was her hands, her feet, her legs, her arms and her torso. She also threw in a kick and a yawn or two for my enjoyment. We did get to see half of her face but it was clear by her positioning that she was 1) comfortable and 2) not ready to reveal her beauty. This mama is okay with that. So, at the third attempt, we agreed to do things on her terms, we smiled knowing that she'd be here before we knew it and we walked away with a disc containing the following images (and more). Hopefully, my super high tech notations on the copy of each image will help to guide you in knowing what you are looking at :)











Spoken like a true mama, I'm sure, but aren't those the cutest little hands and feet you've ever seen!?! Ahh, I just can't wait to meet my little doll.

The questions. Oh, the questions.

All of the advice, most of it unsolicited and unwarranted, is like quicksand. It sucks you in and makes you feel like people don't trust that you know what you are doing. Yes, I have never had a baby before but I am a smart woman, I know my body can do this and I know that I have the knowledge and resources to figure it all out. Sometimes the advice and questions are helpful, especially when I know they are coming from a good place like family and close friends. They just make you think about things in a different way, like if I really need a changing table (still debating). Other times, the advice and questions come from people I barely know and are overwhelming - slash - occasionally borderline-insulting.

Are you going to have a natural birth?
Do you believe in drugs?
Is your baby going to be born all drugged-out?
Are you going to get an epidural?
Did you know your baby can still feel pain even if you can't?
Are you going to labor at home or go straight to the hospital?
Where did you conceive?
How long did it take you to get pregnant?
Was your baby an accident?
Don't you think you're young to have a baby?
If you have a boy, will you circumcise?
Are you sad that you're having a girl?
Are you terrified to have a baby?
Who are you going to let into the labor room?
Why are you taking birth classes?
Why aren't you taking birth classes?
You know you're supposed to gain weight, right?
How much weight are you going to gain?
Do you have stretch marks?
Are you doing anything to prevent them?
Are you going to co-sleep?
Are you still drinking caffeine?
Do you still sleep on your back?
Is the baby going to sleep in your room or in the crib?
Are you going to breastfeed or use formula?
How much time are you taking off?
How are you going to afford taking time off work?
Are you going to go back to work?
What have you arranged for childcare?
How are you going to pay for it?
Do you realize how expensive children are?

With that many questions being thrown at you like darts all day long and every single day, you start to feel a little scrutinized after a while. Often, you just don't even want to answer. Kevin tells me to just respond with that's personal or that's inappropriate or I don't feel comfortable discussing that with you. Truth is, I just don't feel comfortable saying those things. I don't want to be rude! But I do want the question-askers to realize that believe it or not, this is an exciting time in our marriage. Why don't people acknowledge that? And where are all the positive questions? Like Are you excited to be a mother? and Is Kevin excited to be a dad? and How's the nursery coming along? It has been a constant struggle for me to deal with all the questions, the advice and the judgments since the very beginning of this pregnancy. Now that I'm at 8 months, it seems to only be getting worse. So, for now, I'll just take it in stride. I'll take all the advice with a grain of salt. Seriously consider what people suggest and then decide what is right for me. That's all I really can do.

The honest truth.

I came to screeching halt during a casual conversation with a coworker last Friday...Claire will be here in about 7 weeks. 7 weeks? Yes, 7 weeks. Where did all the time go? It seems like just yesterday, Kevin and I were sitting on the couch in silence and blankly staring at each other after having read the positive results. It seems like just yesterday that we were trying to keep it a secret for over 3 months, scheming how to tell our families and explain why I'm avoiding the sweet nectar of the gods. It seems like just yesterday that we were going in to meet our doctor, hear our baby's heartbeat, see our baby for the first time and find out if we'd have a son or a daughter. Now, we're almost to the end of this incredible journey and time seems to be passing at warp speed. Not to mention, I'm literally getting bigger by the minute. Sleep is no longer something I can just slip into, it's a constant battle for comfort, trying to roll over on my own, trying to avoid the typical 4-trips to the bathroom during the night, temperature control and longevity. And honestly, that's not the worst of it. I did expect the physical changes but was not quite prepared for the emotional toll this journey would take. In my most honest truth, I feel like my current state is filled with bittersweet emotions. I want to meet my daughter so badly (and be able to see my own feet again), but I am also going to miss my time with Kevin as just us. I know our lives are going to be forever changed and change is hard for me. So yes, honestly, it is a little bittersweet knowing that we're never going to be alone, we're never going to be as carefree, we're never going to get this back. But with every ending, there is a new beginning and Claire Madison is ours. We are so beyond thrilled, completely ready to jump into this parenthood business at any minute. Until then, we'll indulge in our time alone, focus on each other and ingrain these small moments into our memories while we wait for our daughter to arrive. Like I said, bittersweet.

My days are numbered.

At work, that is. After much debate and indecisiveness, I have officially decided that Friday, December 9th will be my last day at work prior to Claire's arrival. That's just 6 short days before her due date, while only 3 of them are actual work days. Thankfully, I have time on the books that I have to use prior to going on maternity leave (you are only allowed to keep so many hours of each kind of leave), so it's going to work out to get an extra week of paid vacation wedged in there. My short term disability only covers 6 weeks of paid maternity leave, but I will be taking the full 12 weeks off. Kevin and I have talked at length about my departure from work (and, thus, a paycheck) for this period of time and we've come to the conclusion that we can afford it and it will be best to take off the complete 3 months. We have been preparing for this lack of pay for months. At my mom's suggestion, we've been buying boxes of diapers when I find them on sale or have a coupon. That way, we'll have a little stock on hand for the first few weeks or so (Kevin seems to think we already have like a month supply but I don't think he realizes how many changes newborns go through). Plus, we have been setting extra money aside to cover our bases while I am out. It's times like these that we are so fortunate to be savers, almost to a fault, and not swamped in debt. I knew all that hard work, budgeting, scrimping and saving would pay off for something more important than a rainy day!

So, as of today, that means I officially have 29 more work days to go between next Monday and December 9th. That includes a full paycheck for October, a full paycheck for November and 6 weeks of pay for December/January. Plenty of time to continue to save and feel ready to leave work confidently. Overall, it feels great to have a set-in-stone plan. Who knows if it will actually work out the way I planned considering she could arrive early but I'm not holding my breath. (If you want to know the truth, I have had an inkling for a while that I will go into labor on the 14th. I have no idea why or where this thought came from...it's just a gut feeling that popped up out of nowhere.) I suppose we'll wait and see! You have no idea how much I'm looking forward to taking a break from work and focusing on learning about and caring for my little doll!!

Best Christmas gift, ever.

A new perspective.

Enjoy the little things in life.
One day, you'll look back and realize
they were the big things.

There are these little moments I experience every so often that catapults my perspective into a new, better place. That happened most recently this morning. Life could not have been better this morning than if the angels came down from the heights themselves and serenaded my drive to work at a heavenly decibel. I could practically hear the hallelujah choir! I just feel so happy, I could burst. It's a somebody pinch me, am I floating on a cloud? feeling that I have yet to shake. And, honestly, I'm soaking up every minute of it. Usually, I would feel a post of this nature would be annoying cheesy and borderline obnoxious, but it really portrays a look into my current life. I have a husband that loves me unconditionally, a dog that is more excited to see me every day than anyone else, a baby girl that I get to meet in just about 8 weeks and a beautiful drive to an even more beautiful home that I love. How does it really get much better? And, to boot, I have a roast with veggies in the crockpot simmering all day and a corner of the living room filled to the brim with baby things that I have yet to put away in the nursery that is also cluttered with pink goodness. Needless to say, my cup overfloweth. And I am so grateful - grateful for the many blessings I've received, grateful for all the people in my life that love and support me, grateful for this child I have been blessed with, but even more grateful that I have gained the perspective to really appreciate the small things around me. You just never quite know when the small things are actually going to become the big things, the momentous blips in time that matter the most.

32 Week Update

Since I don't really know off the top of my head what a jicama looks like and/or weighs, I guess it would be wise for me to share that my little pumpkin is growing quite rapidly these days. At the 32 week mark, she's tipping the scales at a healthy 3.75 pounds and stretches just shy of 17 inches at 16.7! There is no question about it - she is definitely making her growing presence known in my uterus these days. That stretchy band on my maternity pants are fitting a little more snug and some shirts are just about busting at the seems. Thank goodness I'm already so far along! :) Seems like every attempt to roll over in bed in the middle of the night or get my lazy buns off the couch in the evenings come with a little more straining, a little more grunting and a little less poise. I can see the scales slowly easing their way up to where baby needs them to be. On average, I should be gaining about a pound per week from this point on, half of that going straight to little miss Claire. During the next seven weeks, it is predicted that she will gain a third to a half of her birth weight as she fattens up some chubby little cheeks in preparation for life outside her mama's tummy. Now, my little doll now has fingernails, toenails, real hair (or at least respectable peach fuzz) and her skin is softening up as she plumps. Only about 8 weeks until we get to finally meet this little girl who has turned our life upside down. I'm getting more excited with each passing day!

16 things I want to teach Claire:

1. Things that happen to you in life are not excuses for the way you live. You must accept, overcome and move on. Make yourself a better person in spite of your circumstances or experiences.

2. Value rationale and logical thinking. They will keep you out of a number of sticky situations, saving you a lot of grief in the long run.

3. Always give people the benefit of the doubt. Don't jump on the bandwagon. Draw your own conclusions and be kind.

4. Sometimes people are mean. Often, there is no rhyme or reason to it. They just say mean things without regard to how their words will effect others. And often, it is undeserved. It's okay to be upset, it's okay to acknowledge that someone hurt your feelings and it's okay to cry.

5. Don't allow people to treat you badly or break you down. Especially family. You deserve so much more.

6. Surround yourself with those that have your best intentions at heart, family or not.

7. There is wisdom that can be learned from older generations but there is new life in youth, innocence and fresh ideas. Each hold their value.

8. Take responsibility for your actions and learn from your mistakes. Making mistakes is part of life. It's how you grow as a person.

9. Nobody can make a better decision for you than yourself. In the end, all you really have in life is you.

10. Learn to trust the right people.

11. You have a right to your own opinion. Stand by it with truth and conviction. In the end, that's all you have left.

12. Always treat people with respect but do not allow them to take advantage of you. It's a fine line and you'll learn it with time.

13. You will always have your parents. We loved you before you were born. We want what's best for you. But we promise to respect your version of what is best.

14. We don't care what you aspire to be. Whatever it is, just be happy. Just be you.

15. Understand that nobody can love you fully until you love yourself. Find someone that makes you feel better about yourself and encourages you to be the best version of yourself.

16. Marry a man like your father.

Busy day ahead.

Baby Shower #2 for this mama. Day of building the crib and the dresser for the papa. So, I'll just leave it with a photo: *Taken on Mary's Peak in Corvallis, Oregon. 28 weeks pregnant. We couldn't be happier.

People suck.

Where do people get the nerve to say whatever the hell they feel like saying to pregnant women!?! There I was, just minding my own business, and all the sudden I am personally attacked. Not once, but twice. In one day. How is this possible!?!

SCENARIO #1
Rude person (stops me in the hallway): "When are you due?"
Me (smiling): "On December 15. It's coming up!"
Rude person: "Oh! Are you having twins?"
Me (no longer smiling): "Nope, just one."
Rude person (with mouth gaping open): "Really!?! Hmm. A boy or a girl?"
Me (as I walk away with tears in my eyes): "A girl."
Then, I cried.
And called my husband.

SCENARIO #2
2nd Rude person (stops me in another department): "Whoa! You sure are rounding out there."
Me: "Yeah, I know. Seems like I get bigger every day."
2nd Rude person (looking at me with pity eyes): "Oh, don't worry, hon. It doesn't look like you've gained toooo much weight."
Me: "Actually, I haven't. I weigh less now than I did before I was pregnant."
2nd Rude person (with mouth gaping open): "Oh, wow. Really!?!"
I just walked away.
Then, I cried.
And texted my husband.

They are just lucky I am a nice person. I sure would have loved to tell them off, really put them in their place but I never would. What I don't understand is how they think it's okay to say things like that? I would never walk up to someone eating McDonalds and say "You know that's just going to go straight to your ass, don't you?" But I would never do that because my mama taught me better than that. And, I have common sense.

I'm just baffled.

This is what I can't seem to figure out: At what point during my transition into pregnancy did my rights to be considered a person with feelings dissolve? Don't they realize that what they say is rude? At what point did it become okay for people to become outwardly critical of me, my body and my unborn child? Don't they realize that if the tables were turned, they would be highly offended if I commented on their size and/or weight? At what point did it become socially acceptable to share derogatory comments under the umbrella of "advice" or "suggestions" to someone's face with complete disregard to the effects of your comments? Don't they realize that I'm hormonal and can cry at the drop of a hat? Don't they realize that, even though I am pregnant, it still hurts my feelings? Pregnant people do have feelings! It certainly doesn't work the other way around. Call me biased but I feel that pregnant women deserve the same respect, if not extra special treatment, considering it is such a sensitive moment in their lives.

Every mother, especially a new mother, is overly critical of herself while pregnant. She wants to make sure she is doing everything she can to provide the best environment for her child. Am I eating enough of the right foods? Is my body going to stretch enough to provide ample room for the baby? Can I make it through an entire 10 months of this? Am I going to be strong enough to get through the birth? Will I be a good mother? How can she focus on what is really important when she spends a night crying in bed with her husband because of the careless words people say without even thinking? I have enough on my plate without having to deal with inconsiderate people. My body and my mind are going through a lot. Please cut me some slack.

The real kicker is...both rude people in my scenarios above are mothers. Mothers, of all people, should know better. There's just no excuse. People suck.

Childbirth Prep: Class 2

This was the big one. The one class in the series that I was dreading more than the rest. The one that would certainly scare me straight. It was the one with dun, dun, dun...videos! But, after all was said and done, I walked out of the class more amazed about what my body was created to do, more confident in the fact that I will be giving birth and more sure that the experience will be as beautiful as I make it out to be. It will be hard, I know, but nothing worth doing is easy. And the video I dreaded? It was not even worth fretting over. I've seen much much worse on youtube.

We learned just as much during class two as we did in class one. The main topics included a more detailed look at what the stages of labor entail, the path baby takes to travel down the birth canal (looks like my little doll has quite the journey ahead of her!), coping strategies to deal with the stress and pain of labor, the delivery of the baby and the placenta, different laboring positions and what happens immediately after baby is born. We didn't discuss many interventions or medications during this class. It was more centered on natural birth and how to know whether it's the appropriate choice for you. Options were also discussed regarding taking advantage of the birth tub and/or the shower during labor as well as the benefits that using multiple labor and delivery positions can have on your overall length of labor and birth experience. Whew! See, we learned alot.

My favorite portion of the class was our discussion about positive affirmations. Telling yourself something over and over until you really start to believe it. Our instructor gave us multiple examples of real affirmations her patients used during labor to keep themselves motivated and feeling strong. The one that really stuck with me was a woman that kept repeating "my body rocks! my body rocks!" I find these positive affirmations particularly interesting considering I've already been practicing this mind-over-matter exercise. I tell myself all the time:

My body was meant to do this.
Everything will go fine.
It will be a beautiful experience.
I am just as strong as any other woman.
I can do this.

These ideas are now cemented into my brain. I really believe them. I know I can do this. It will be hard, but I can do it. My body knows exactly what it's supposed to do. It's what my body was created for. I am thinking positive in order to get the most positive outcome. And, because of these affirmations, I am at peace with birth. I feel confident and I feel able.

The class ended with a few breathing and relaxation techniques as well as practicing different labor positions. All the mama's had to get into these different positions, some comfortable and some definintely not, and then she'd teach the papa's how to support their partner and apply counter-pressure. Although awkward, these exercises were quite helpful. Overall, we left feeling more prepared and looking forward to next Monday night.

Timing is everything.

It's been a common question for most to ask when I will be leaving work to prepare for the baby's arrival. My response usually entails some lighthearted sarcasm like "not until I pop this sucker out!" or "hopefully my water doesn't break on my office chair!" or something equally uncommitting. Now, as my due date nears, I'm starting to think things over a little more seriously. Why not take some time to relax and mentally prepare? Why not use some of that saved up vacation/comp time to tie up loose ends before bringing a new baby home? Why not? I just don't have a very good answer. I used to think that I wanted the full 3 months with the baby after she's born to get to know her and really settle into my new role as a mama. However, I see the benefit of taking a few days or a week to myself to de-stress, relax and just wait for the big moment. The beauty of it is, I have enough time on the books to do it without it being considered FMLA so I will still get paid if I plan to take a week or so off prior to my due date. It's all just a matter of timing.

At my doctor's appointment on Monday, I am going to discuss with her the logistics of this whole unpredictable labor/birth scenario. My most demanding questions:

1. What happens if I go past my due date?
2. At what point would I, should I, could I be induced?

The answers to these questions will help me to determine what kind of time I should try to take off prior to the baby coming. I want time to get everything in order. I want some time to bottle up my energy. I want time to myself. Since I am highly affected by stress and my environment (especially because December is the single most stressful month at work for the entire year), I know I will crave the time to decompress. Again, it's all just a matter of timing. Kevin and I obviously have a lot to discuss. The verdict is TBD.

He is that guy.

Giving you my heart was one of the best things I ever did.

Having a happy marriage doesn't mean life is perfect - at least not all the time. To me, it means we've laughed more than we cried, celebrated more than we've worried, and loved each other through everything.

Most of all, it means we have a lot of things to be proud of...and still more to look forward to. I am so thankful to have you in my life.

Thanks for being that guy. The one that never misses a doctor's appointment. The one that will spend hours with me at Babies R Us or Target. The one that is just as thrilled about the overpriced owl baby rattle as I am. The one that is excited about birthing classes and talks during the round robin. The one that encourages me when I'm feeling down about how my body is changing. That one that loves his wife in every stage, even the hormonal blips that happen every so often. The one that writes in the baby book. That guy is the one I need right now.

And I want you to know how much our love, our life and our little girl means to me.

Can't wait to see how our forever turns out.

Living with the clutter.

In my usual OCD fashion, I've made a list. And said list is growing longer by the minute. Every time I get one thing checked off, like the thank you cards from my family shower (yay!) or massive grocery shopping, it seems as if I have five more tasks to add. Between both working full-time, doctor's appointments, birth classes and baby showers, when do we really have the time!?! Let's just say we've been putting off until tomorrow what we could should do today.

Our place, although we love it, is still a wreck. I haven't even attempted to tackle our closet. Most of our clothes are still in boxes or in stacks along the edge of our room. The garage is still lined with items that need a proper home. We need to get a kitchen table/chairs set but don't really want to start the looking process and/or we're avoiding paying for it right now so we eat on the couch every night. No big deal. If I don't get to the laundry soon, I'm pretty sure the laundry room is going to cave in from the weight of the massive pile that is accumulating. Thankfully, we both have plenty of clean underwear so we haven't been forced to go commando or wear our bathing suits yet. :) The office door hasn't even been opened in days, as if there is invisible caution tape warning you not to enter. My desk is still in two pieces, the computer hasn't been plugged in and none of my things have been organized. Literally, all the boxes are still in the exact same place they were when my troop of family and friends helped me carry them upstairs. And let's not even discuss the fact that my bookshelves are crowded instead of designed, my decorations are all in piles throughout the house and the photo frames are along the borders of each room. As you can tell, we still have plenty to do...it's just a matter of finding the time to do it.

After all that, all I can say is Thank God! that we got a moving company. I already don't have the energy or motivation to get my house in order and I didn't even have to move any of our items in. As my pregnancy progresses, I've noticed the lack of energy. My feet are really swollen every night when I get home and it feels better just to kick back and elevate. And, it's not just me. Kevin has been working longer hours recently (which he is very thankful for) but it's also a little draining for him to get used to waking up at 5.30am. I can tell he is just exhausted when he gets home, but he (unlike me) would never complain about it. In his sweet way, he passes it off as a great opportunity to earn more money to take care of me and our little Claire Bear.

So, for now, we live with the uneasiness of the cluttered spaces and just enjoy each other's company. Our nightly ritual typically consists of making dinner together, eating on the couch, taking The Monst for a walk, checking the mail and vegging out behind the tv to watch a movie before dragging our feet up the stairs to bed. I swear, these days, that 6.40 wake up call comes earlier and earlier every day. {Did I already mention that I think alarm clocks are the worst invention ever?} So, sorry this is a borderline woe-is-me post, but I assure you, that wasn't the intention. Life is just moving a little faster these days than I can get my swollen sausage feet to go. Better get used to it!

Childbirth Prep: Class 1

We wandered around the hospital with wide-eyes, 2 pillows and a small blanket in tow, looking for the conference center to attend our first of four childbirth prep classes last night. Judging from her slightly amused response, the woman at the information booth knew exactly where we were headed and pointed us in the right direction. Kevin and I were the first couple to show-up, get signed in and meet the instructor Angela Gunther. I liked her right away. She's this tiny little thing with a hippie, natural child air about her. She can't be a day over 35. While she finished setting up, we got settled in and waited for the unexpected. Immediately, my eyes met up with the television. Videos. Correction: Birth videos. Oy vey. So not looking forward to those. But I waited with anxious hands as the class started to see what we had actually signed up for. It was two full hours of non-stop information that we had both been craving. It's one thing to read about the stages of labor and birth in a book and a completely different experience to be taught by a teacher that had been through it herself 3 times, as a doula for many years and as a childbirth prep instructor for 4 years. I have complete trust in what she's teaching us.

My number one concern walking into the class was whether our instructor would strongly push her views regarding the medicated vs. non-medicated birth experience. Although I completely believe she did it all without medication, she doesn't seem to be the kind that will try to sway us in one way or the other. In fact, her strategy is to clearly teach us about birth in two ways - the medication/intervention-free approach and the medicated approach. She wants us to know our options and feel free to choose what is best for us and baby. I appreciate her willingness to accept that all birth is valid and empowering, medicated or not. Kevin and I have just watched so many videos in our own time that really try to nudge you in the "this way is the only real way to birth a baby" direction and I don't appreciate it. I am an adult and want the space (and knowledge) to make the informed decision that is right for me. But, I digress...

In our first class we covered the basics about how your body changes during the 40-week gestation period. I was really amazed at the chart shown comparing a normal woman's body to a full-term pregnant woman's body. The way your body knows exactly how to rearrange those organs to make room for the growing fetus is unbelieveable. I had a few ahh-hah! moments when I saw that squished little bladder, the relocation of my stomach to under my rib cage and the rest of the organs filling out either side of my upper torso. It's no wonder I feel like a bit of a stuffed sausage, I can't eat more than 5 bites and have to pee every 3 minutes - everything has shifted!

The main topic of class 1 was discussion of the early signs of labor and the stages of labor: early labor, active labor, transition, pushing and delivering the placenta. There are more early signs that labor is near than I originally realized. These signs can start anywhere from 2-4 weeks prior to actual labor and will include things such as Braxton Hicks contractions, engagement, nesting, water breaking, etc. I now understand that some women will actually feel their baby drop and others will only notice that they can breathe a little easier but have to pee even more often because baby's head is basically resting on their bladder. I now have a better understanding of what contractions will feel like to most women, why some women experience back labor, and why some women feel a gush of fluid when their water breaks and others only feel little trickles with every step (or their water never breaks at all). We covered the Braxton Hicks vs. real labor contractions debate as well as what happens if you have contractions first and water breakage second (or vice-versa). For most women, once your water breaks, your contractions take around 2-5 hours to start up. For other women, your bag of waters never breaks on it's own and you need to decide whether you want it to break naturally during the labor/pushing process or have it manually broken by your care provider. She really pushed the benefits of laboring at home for as long as safely possible and at what point we should make our jaunt to the hospital. We ended the class with some massage techniques Kevin can perform to relax me when I am feeling tired, achy, swollen or can't get to sleep. Not to be selfish, but that was my favorite part!

Walking away from our first class, I do feel more prepared and less stressed about going into labor. Honestly, since the beginning of my pregnancy I've decided to take this approach that my body knows exactly what it is supposed to do. Women have been having babies forever. The whole if they can do it, I can do it mentality. I know things may not go as planned, there could be complications, there could be interventions I do not plan on, my epidural may not take, I could require induction, I could require a c-section but in the end, as long as baby is healthy and I get through in one piece, that's all that matters. I think what makes women most nervous is the pain and the fear of the unknown. Everything is a little nerve-wracking if you've never been through it before. My number one goal is to become as prepared as possible and trust that my body was meant to do this. The rest will all happen on it's own, whether I'm on board or not.

Newborn photography

*did the photo above make you swoon? because it made me swoon.

I have been researching a newborn photographer for quite some time. I even had a list of some that I liked prior to even being pregnant. When you're in to photography, it's common to sit and pass away the time by browsing random photography blogs. When you look at as many as I do, you're bound to fall for one photographer's style or another photographer's angles or lighting techniques. Unfortunately, my #1 is based out of Southern California...not too practical for a new baby or a new mama. So, it was back to the grindstone for me. Well, last night a friend introduced me to Erin Tole Photography. I haven't been able to take my eyes off her blog! Her newborn photos are just beautiful. She knows to capture them in ways that display their newness, their flexibility and their sweet sleepy faces. They are the same kind of photos I want for Baby Claire. True, she's a bit on the spendy side but I'm looking at places that I can cut back to be able to afford them. I think photography is an investment that is always worth the money. Like my wedding photos - I still love looking at them! To me, they were worth every penny. Precious memories of the big moments that you can never get back. I think the first few days of Claire Madison's life deserves the same attention so I'm pinching pennies where I can to make it happen. Just check out Miss Erin Tole's fabulous newborn portfolio here and get ready to swoon.

Money well spent.

We moved in to our new townhouse in Canby on Monday. Kevin spent the day at the house and the storage unit directing the movers on where to put all of our things. They carried all the heavy stuff upstairs and tried to put all the boxes in a central area so it would be easier for Kevin and I to transfer throughout the house. While Kevin delegated tasks, I spent the day re-cooping from my family baby shower and a late night out the day prior. I helped clean up after the shower. I downloaded some photos on the computer taken during the shower. I looked through all my baby shower gifts and organized the adorable clothes (we are so blessed!). I went out to the new house to see the progress Kevin and the moving company were making. A troop of people were even willing to help me empty a few boxes and organize the new living room (thank you!). I had lunch with my husband and my mother-in-law before taking her back to the airport. Then, we finished the day off with our rescheduled 4D ultrasound complete with Grandma B and Grandpa in tow. Needless to say, this was the best move I've ever made. Kevin and I both agree it was money well spent. We made it through the move with only two casualties - a broken glass coaster and a broken piece of glass in our wedding photo frame. Not too shabby. Now, we've been taking our time to put things in their proper places. Thankfully, all of our furniture fits in the new place so we won't have to struggle with finding a new couch or anything. It's kind of like this place was made for us and where we are in our lives right now. Recently, we've focused a lot of our efforts on the baby's room (just because it's so darn fun!) and getting our bedroom organized. The kitchen is completely unpacked sans a kitchen table. Utilites have been transferred into our name, although we are still trying to figure out the internet and cable debacle. Tonight's challenge? Definitely tackling our walk-in closet. It's too difficult to find clothes for work at 6.30am when they are all stuffed in garbage bags and boxes :) Once we're all settled, I will post photos of the new place. We feel like we're finally home.