Creature of Habit.

My female coworkers were all in a frenzy about free handmade soaps that a supervisor's wife makes. She actually owns a out-of-home soap business and sells it to the public. She generously donated a bunch of soap bars that were beautiful and smelled great, but were not the correct size or were too small/large to sell. Once the email hit that he had a box of free soaps, there was a rush to his office. I went with some coworkers to check it out, but was the only one to leave empty-handed....by choice. It was then I realized, when trying to explain why I didn't want any soap, that I am a Creature of Habit. I have been using the same soap for my entire life. Dove. It's the best and the only one I prefer. (I actually love all the Dove products and you could tell by looking in my bathroom - Dove Shampoo, Dove Conditioner, Dove Body Wash, Dove Soap, Dove Deodorant, Dove Face Lotion). I find what I like and continue to use it. Although I have been swayed by the cost of making my own laundry soap vs. paying for my favorite (and very expensive) Tide laundry soap, my body soap is something I will not budge on. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, right?

Baby blues.

I wasn't going to blog about this because
1. nobody knows
2. it may be TMI
3. it makes me sad
...but since this blog is essentially an overview of our life, I guess we should include all the big moments and the small. The last couple weeks have been a big moment, to say the least. Up until today, Kevin and I thought that I was expecting.

Let's start at the beginning. August 26, 1997 I became a "woman" ... I have always been very regular. I'm not on birth control. Kevin and I have decided that what is meant to be will be. So, we are just waiting for pregnancy to happen on it's own. We are not "trying" but we are not not trying either. I was expecting to start my cycle again on June 16th (I have always been very, very regular) but when I didn't, I thought that was odd. Took a couple tests over the span of a few days, but all were negative. I must admit, it is devastating when you don't see that little plus sign! I really thought this was our little blessing to come through all the crap we've been through lately. It'd be nice to have a silver-lining in those dark clouds above us somewhere.

Being 10 days late on Friday, Kevin and I went in to the doctor to have a urine test done there. Negative. They decided to do a blood test. (Mind you, I have never had my blood drawn before and I HATE needles!) I had to have my blood drawn THREE times! As if that wasn't enough torture, waiting for the results all day Saturday and Sunday was worse! Sunday afternoon, I got a call - false alarm! I had to go back in on Sunday to have my blood drawn again. They said there was something wrong with my blood specimen. *Later, we found out that meant they didn't mark my vial, essentially losing my blood.

That, in a nutshell, brings us to today. Multiple negative home tests and 3 blood draws later, I got the call this morning. Blood test was negative. Although it was sad to hear, it's nice just to know a definitive answer. I rest in peace knowing that Kevin and I have a plan...A very detailed plan that includes trying to become pregnant at the end of 2010 or very early in 2011, no matter what. Above all, God has an even better plan and sometimes, you have to learn patience.

Little beauties.

The product of a recent trip to picture people with my sister-in-law and my beautiful nieces:


The photo of them together wasn't quite as successful, but it clearly shows Sophia's love for her "babee sistor!" and Peyton's shock of camera flashes :)

The first step to getting the
things you want out of life is this:
Decide what you want.

Running past this quote couldn't have been better timing than today. Kevin and I are busy "deciding what we want" out of life. It used to be "traveling" or "buying a house" but now, since we've realized those dreams are pretty much unattainable in our current state, a family seems much more appealing. Sure, we could plan to travel, but it wouldn't be for another whole year. There's only so much vacation time (and finances) that can be disposed of in one year. We used to think waiting until we were in our late 20's or early 30's would be perfect kid-creating ages, but we want more out of our lives. Being stuck in this rut is wearing on both of us. We feel like we're still in college, minus the studying and classes. We still have "college furniture" and a "college apartment". We're ready to be grown-ups. So, now...we plan. Making plans to save money (yeah, that'll be interesting) and plans to get out of our dungeon apartment, and plans to start our family. Once we create the plan (shooting for plan execution probably around December), we're going to stick to it come hell or high water. Everybody else around us jumps in feet-first - why can't we? Perhaps we'll remove our "responsibly hats" for a little while. It will all work that (atleast that's what I keep reminding myself).

proud to be a daddy's girl.

we both like ketchup on our steak.
we both like dry baked potatoes.
we both tear-up when reading cards.
we both are creatures of habit.
we both think our own jokes are the funniest.
i truly am my father's daughter.

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, DAD!

still?

1. it's still raining here.
2. kevin still hasn't found a "real" job.
3. i still want to have a baby.
4. the condo we want is still for sale.
5. kevin is still working for my dad (as needed).
6. we still haven't ordered any wedding pictures.
7. my wedding dress still hasn't been cleaned.
8. monster's nose is still turning brown (lack of vitamin d).
9. our tomato plant still has no tomatoes.
10. i still can't cook.
11. i'm still in love with my husband.

sunburns and kiddie rides

i walked out of my apartment on saturday morning and my eyes started burning. what was that bright, warm light? oh yeah...THE SUN! get this! kevin actually got a sunburn (now tan) on saturday. of course, it has been cloudly again since sunday...but hey, we got a whole day of vitamin d.

during our one day of sunshiny bliss, we dragged my parents and sophia to waterfront village to spend time at the rose festival fairgrounds. although it wasn't my dad's cup of tea, sophia seemed to enjoy herself. to be honest, i think she was a little overwhelmed. there was a petting zoo (really small and stinky), pony rides and an exotic animal display. sophia loved her pony ride! (*i must admit, i felt awful for the ponies. they looked like they hated their lives!) we didn't dare enter the petting zoo - too many kids to climb over. sophia wasn't too into the exotic animal display, either. too many huge snakes and tigers for her liking. she did, however, enjoy seeing the giant turtle and the baby leopard. you could stand in line to hold the baby leopard, but my dad ruled that one out, too. i guess he didn't want anyone to get their eyes gauged out. what a party pooper! my mom and i were overjoyed with our roasted ears of corn we both munched on. sophia loved it, too!

as far as the rides...i wanted to ride the dragon swing but nobody else would ride it with me. so, we resorted to putting sophia on a couple rides. she rode the carousel (with me) and loved watching the horses go up and down. she actually kept staring at the mechanics above her head. i'm amazed at how smart she is already! she wants to take everything apart and know how everything works. what a smart little bee! every time a ride ended she'd respond with "awwwwwww! no done! no done!" :) after the carousel, she rode an airplane ride (again, with me). i was terrified as soon as this little kid airplane took off, we'd tumble to the ground. the carny guy said it'd hold adults too, but i had my doubts. not to mention, i looked like a complete idiot - i'm sure that photo will end up on facebook - but she LOVED it! every time it took a corner, she'd scream and smile! i had to pry her off the airplane ride..,however, i think it traumatized me more than her. her last ride (see photo) was ALL BY HERSELF! i asked her before strapping her in, if it's okay that Auntie Katie doesn't ride with her - she looked at me like "Duh!" she's so independent...i couldn't believe it. she's 2 going on 13! she loves all kinds of trucks and cars so, naturally, she thought she was pretty cool on her own little jeep. every time she'd make a loop, she'd look at all of us with a little smirky grin. she obviously knew she was too cool for school.

we all had a great time doing something outdoors in the sunshine for a change. i'm sure my dad's enjoyment is still debatable, but sometimes you just gotta take one for the team! :)

time out, please.

we need a time out...from our lives.

yesterday, we found out that our landlord upped our rent. only $25 a month, but that really adds up ($300 extra a year, to be exact)! it just seems like the hits just keep on coming. people advise us to stay positive, but really. that's a hard thing to do when there is nothing to be positive about. honestly, i wish we could fast forward our lives by about 5 years. newlywed bliss fizzled fast. we are still very much in love, and enjoy being married...don't get me wrong. but we have been together for so long already (6.5 years exactly) that it seems we shouldn't be stuck where we are.

plus, this weather doesn't help. RAIN IN JUNE!?! what is that? i have been tanning. every single day. it's the Oregon version of "sun" i suppose. alas, we have a silver lining. in exactly 30 days, my friends, kevin and i will be boarding a plane then boarding a cruise ship on our way to seven days of sweet mexican bliss. this vacation could not come at a better time.

our first dance lyrics couldn't be more fitting.

There comes a time
A time in everyone's life
When nothing seems to go their way
When nothing seems to turn out right
There may come a time
You just cant seem to find your place
For every door you open
Seems like you get two slammed in your face

That's when you need someone
Someone that you can call
When all your faith is gone
Feels like you can't go on
Let it be me
Let it be me
If it's a friend that you need
Let it be me
Let it be me

Feels like your always coming up last
Pockets full of nothing
Ain't got no cash
Don't matter where you turn
You ain't got no place to stand
Reach out for something
And they slap your hand

Now I remember all to well
Just how it feels to be all alone
You feel like you'd give anything
For just a little place you can call your own

That's when you need someone
Someone that you can call
And when all your faith is gone
Feels like you can't go on
Let it be me
Let it be me
If it's a friend you need
Let it be me
Let it be me