Update

We have heard back from 3 of the mortgage companies we supplied applications for. One wanted to charge us $124.00 just to offer up a pre-approval, so we passed. The second we heard back from, but are still waiting to see all the numbers. The third has been very responsive and friendly to work with. They offered us a breakdown of how much it would cost to finance one of the condos we have been looking at in addition to a total maximum amount they will be willing to offer us financing for. That second number is a lot higher than we would even be willing to pay right now. Maybe we could it if we wanted to eat dented cans of meat, potatoes and $.99 loaves of bread for every meal. We have a fourth company that we will be applying with - both of my brothers have (or have had) mortgages with this company so we are excited to possibly be joining the team. At this point, since the application is on paper instead of online (shocker!), we have only made it through half. From what we can tell, it is a lot more thorough than the rest of the applications. We are excited to see how this all plays out.

Next on the agenda is to walk through the properties again. Now that we have the mortgage paperwork rolling, we want to seriously see what is out there and decide what we really want in our future home.

Annnnnnd we're off!

Started with a couple online mortage applications last night over and now my phone and email is blowing up! I feel like the most popular kid in school :) It's scary but exciting. I can see we're in for a wild ride.

It just doesn't quite fit.

I feel like a little girl walking around in my mother's heels and pearls. Trying to be a grown-up. Trying to fill shoes that just don't fit. The whole mortgage thing, the whole baby thing, it's all giving me anxiety. I feel like I look like an idiot - like I am going to walk into a bank and they are going to think it's a joke. It's not like I don't look so young, they'll think I'm talking about buying Barbie's Dream House or a stinking plastic playhouse for the back porch. And a baby!?! I practically still am a baby. I have heartburn and stomach aches and just feel exhausted just thinking about this. Are all of life's B I G decisions supposed to be like this? Because, it doesn't feel good, and I don't like it. Not one bit. Correction: I like the idea of it all working out and living my perfect little fairy tale happy ending, but I don't like all the work and stress to force something that may or may not happen. Oy vey. My mother says I stress and analyze things too much. Maybe I do. I'll try to work on that.

Coupons make me giddy.

I love saving money. I really do.

After today's lengthy trip to not-one-but-two grocery stores, we left feeling like we got more than what we paid for. It's nice to feel like you are getting a bargain, especially on something like food because it doesn't last very long. Ever since I started buying my own groceries, I have wondered why people just walk around the store and mindlessly throw things into their cart without being conscious of the price. Like the price doesn't matter at that point in time...but, take it from me, the price does matter when you're at the check stand. I learned quickly that enough food to feed the two of us for a couple weeks is expensive! This is my thinking: If I will only buy clothes when they are on sale, why wouldn't I only buy food when it's on sale? I can remember multiple instances in college where I was blindsided with a grocery bill that was a lot higher than I had budgeted for. But, not anymore! Immediately, I started to pay in cash only. I would literally take the $50.00 I had budgeted to spend, walk around and punch the numbers into my cell phone calculator to make sure I didn't exceed that amount. If I did, something was put back. If I under-spent, I just considered it an extra bonus. This cash-only strategy helped me learn how to budget and only buy things I really need. Since then, I have found multiple ways to help us spend only what we budget for:

1. I am religious about making a list (and very seldom stray from it)
2. I clip coupons (and actually use them!)
3. I make weekly dinner menus (not every single week but I try)
4. I try to cook dishes in the same week that use the same items so nothing I pay hard-earned money for goes to waste
5. I look (and take full advantage of) buy-one-get-one-free deals
6. I compare the store-brand prices to the name-brand prices
7. I strategize by shopping at Grocery Outlet first to knock some things off the list then go to regular grocery store (it makes a big difference on our bill!)
8. I make exceptions for the name-brand items for which I can't find comparable store-brands (it's ok to splurge a little!)

These ideas really work for us. Sure, it's easy just to buy what you need and not think twice, but in the long run that's a lot of money that you'll never get back. This way, we still get what we need but for a price we feel good about. For us, saving money in the grocery realm allows us to spend extra money on the things that really matter like vacations, entertainment, our savings and the future.

Signs.

I wouldn't say I am one to believe in signs, necessarily. I have my faith and I believe that doors are opened when they are supposed to be. I also believe that God's timing is perfect. It may not always seem perfect in the moment but in retrospect, most of the time, I understand why I endured certain things and why I was blessed with certain things at different time periods in my life.

Kevin and I are realistically considering these condos. At this juncture in our life, I have been craving, praying for, searching for, hoping for a sign. Any kind of sign. God: even if it's not lightning striking down from the heavens, just give me some kinda sign that this may be a path we should pursue. Our main hurdle at this point is the fear of the unknown. Will we lose our jobs? Will we be able to afford it? Will we be able to responsibly handle the unknown? Are we ready? Then, this morning, as I was unwrapping my very last Tea Forte Vanilla Orchid teabags...the inspirational leaf fell into my lap and it read:

You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.

Is it a sign? I don't know. But it sure encouraged me this morning. I now feel that, at the very least, this is worth looking into. It makes it a little easier to bear knowing that everything worth attaining in life carries a little risk. If you don't jump in, how will you ever know if you can swim?

My new puppy

A good rule of thumb is to never name a puppy until you're sure you're actually going to take it home with you in order to avoid devastation if things don't work out as planned. Well, my friends, I've named that puppy. It's called our house.

As mentioned in a recent post, we have had our eye on some condo properties for sale in Milwaukie for quite some time. Recently, after learning of some new developments in the sales, we are revisiting this idea with a more serious mindset than we did before--from the perspective of starting a family and building a life in this area. Currently, there are 6 units we are researching - 2 short sales, 2 bank-owned foreclosures and 2 regular listings. The price points are rediculously low and the advantages to purchasing these homes are extremely high. Since I am a lister, Kevin and I are in the process of making a pro/con list regarding the advantages and disadvantages of purchasing a condo right now:

Pros:
-mortgage would be very afforable (comparable to rent)
-really great prices
-it's big enough to grow into (if needed for the long haul)
-not throwing money away every month in rent
-selling in 5-10 years will give us the extra money for a down payment on a single-family home
-we have free range to paint and decorate
-freedom to live by our own rules
-expecting to make future upgrades and investments in home
-more spacious with better layout
-3 bedrooms (can have an office and a guest room)
-2.5 baths
-we are responsible for no backyard maintenance
-a real place to call home and build our own family
-garage for storage/car(s)
-good location - grocery store, gas station and work
-good school district
-my brother has already bought/sold a condo in that complex and I have spent time there, it's a quiet and calm environment
-pool in complex
-kid's playground in complex
-garbage disposal
-pantry
-dishwasher
-open floor plan
-surrounding neighborhoods all have sidewalks to walk the monst
-park within walking distance
-close to I-205, centrally located
-more room to entertain
-safe area, low crime rate

Cons:
-home owner's association
-no fenced back yard for the monst
-going into debt with a mortgage
-no flexibility to pick up and move
-property taxes
-it's a condo so you still share a wall
-two story
-no bar within walking distance
-may have to purchase appliances
-SCARY!!!

Can you think of any other pro/con that I should consider?

An unsightly discovery

At the risk of sounding dramatic, I almost died today.

I was doing my nightly girly ritual of primping and prodding, cleansing and plucking when it happened. My lungs collapsed, my pupils dilated, my heart palpitated and I felt my palms begin to sweat. There was a piercing in my gut and my toes curled in agony. And there it was as I wiped my breath off the mirror, staring me square in the face like a wild animal begging for a fight. Taunting me, literally. G U L P...my first black chin hair. Dun dun dun. I swear you could hear a pin drop. My heart shattered into a million pieces, crashing into the sink and swirling down the drain never to be repaired. My life as a young woman was over. How is it possible? How can it be? I am only freaking T W E N T Y S I X!!! Not thirty. Not even 27. I thought the black chin hairs (and whatever other foul things happen to women as they age) weren't scheduled to make an appearance until later into my life. Like, let's say, the ripe age of F I F T Y!!! I am flabbergasted. Really appalled and shamed, I tell you! I don't even have a child to give me the black chin hairs yet. All I kept thinking was how can this be happening to me??? Has it been a regular accessory on my chin for a while now? Have people noticed? Or is it a new guest that thought it could fly under the radar?

As questions bounced around in my brain at warp speed, I was picturing the same scenario over and over...I can still envision the sight as a young girl: watching my mother as she was driving, cautiously and meticulously running her fingertips over her chin searching for any hairs that may have popped up over night. Laughing to myself, I distinctly remember thinking that is never going to happen to me! Now, I am the one in the driver's seat and let me just tell you quite frankly...it doesn't feel good. In addition, I get why the car was such a great venue for this hideous chore - those suckers are hard to nab, especially under the glow of fluorescent lighting. So today, I profess, my tweezers are my very best friend. I am actually considering buying a pair to keep in my desk at work, my glove compartment, kevin's glove compartment and quite possibly every purse I've ever owned. In fact, I may just have a conversation with my jewelry-making sister-in-law about jimmy rigging some tweezers onto one of her necklaces. That way, I will always be prepared to fight. So, if you're looking for stock, here's a friendly tip: Tweezerman is going to have a little sales boost in the very near future.

God, ain't getting O L D just dandy?

Laying down roots

Since February, Kevin and I have been scheming and lusting over planning a little trip to Miami Beach, Florida as a last little hoo-rah(!) before actively pursuing to start our family. A mini-second-honeymoon, if you will. Then, almost immediately, our pre-parent responsibility brains (as I so-lovingly call them) chime in with "why would we want to spend money on a trip right before trying to start a family? shouldn't we just save the money? wouldn't that be the responsible thing to do?" After yoyo-ing between these two mindsets for about a month now, we finally got the push we needed this weekend.

Remember back in July/August when we were thinking of purchasing a condo? It turns out the exact one we were looking into has gone down in price by $30,000. That sparked our interest, to say the least, so we continued to look at units in that complex. Turns out there are two listed at under $100K. Sounds too good to be true, right? Not so fast...there's a catch: those are both short sales. My dad and his realtor friend will take us through a couple of the properties we're interested in and explain to us everything there is to know (and worry about) when thinking of purchasing a short sale property. I understand it's quite the process and definitely not for everyone, as it takes often months before a decision is made. However, the beauty is, we could quite possibly get our hands on a property that we love for an unbelievable price (most likely quite comparable to the rent we're throwing away each month now!). And the bottom line? Kevin and I are happy where we are now, we are in a month-to-month lease with a great landlord and we're not under any major pressure to pursue a property immediately. Thus, getting a great deal on a short sale just may be the way to go. And, we both have the mindset that if all else fails, it just wasn't meant to be.

Looks like Miami Beach is being shoved to the back burner as we focus on our more immediate needs. The last time we entertained this condo discussion, jobs were still up in the air. Kevin wasn't sure if he wanted to (or was going to need to) pursue a job outside of Oregon. Now our priorities have changed. We're eager to start a family and start laying down some roots in Oregon. It'll be interesting to see how this all pans out.

The funny thing about marriage:

As soon as you think you've got each other figured out, you remember there's this whole time in life you didn't know each other.

It baffles me that even though we've been together for 7 years and married for almost two, there is still so much to learn about each other. Prior to marriage, I thought date night would be dramatically different after we said I do. Thankfully, that's not the case. I still get excited to get dressed up and go out on the town with my man. He still tells me I look beautiful like he used to when he'd pick me up at my apartment. He still makes me feel special. I still think he's just as charming and adorable as I ever did. The only difference is, now instead of saying goodnight at the door he gets invited inside (oooh, la la!). The beauty of date night with your best friend is that we can still manage to carry on a conversation that is new and exciting. We get to talk about our future plans as a couple, instead of what we're interested in as individuals. I hope we can manage to keep the sparks flying long into our marriage. Newlyweds forever: that's our goal.

The highlight of date night last night:
Wearing my favorite Steve Madden boots.
Watching the bartender cut his thumb open on their glass chiller machine.
Thumbing through the baby books at Borders with my husband.
Paying $21.50 for movie tickets.
Actually being on time for a movie for once.
Paying $4.50 for a super-tart pomegranate frozen yogurt.
Thoroughly enjoying L I M I T L E S S and it's visually stimulating experience.
Chasing Trailblazer Patty Mills through the theater.
Forgetting that we were married for a minute and just falling right back into that place of an infatuated girl out with the boy who still gives her butterflies.

Story of my life:

"Wyatt has told me I have to limit my stressed-out-sighs to a maximum of 5 per day. He also says I should stop believing that every person I have contact with is on a personal mission to ruin my life."

Haha, so true.

Dear...

Dear husband,
You looked so cozy when I left.
I didn't want the
E V I L-A L A R M-C L O C K
to wake your beautiful face, either.
Soooo...I turned it off.
Hope that's ok.

Dear Starbucks,
You would be my complete and total
H E R O
if you had a delivery service today.
Just sayin...

Dear future dream house,
We are scrimpin' and savin' for you.
P U H - L E A S E
be affordable and everything we want.
A little hint: I love brick!!
(annnnnd a big closet)

Dear future child-o-mine,
We are planning for you.
But, if you happen to show up
U N E X P E C T E D L Y...
that's ok too :)

I apologize.....

Because sometimes I am completely irrational and I make no sense. Sometimes I cry a loud, shaky, can-barely-catch-your-breath, make-your-eyes-burn cry. I scream and clench my fists and rub my eyes non-stop. I look at whoever will listen with wide eyes begging for some validation of my feelings. Sometimes I question why people don't have common courtesy and act like I am some perfect person that they should all emulate. Sometimes I take out my anger on my husband when it should really be directed at someone or something else. And sometimes I fly off the handle too soon or too hard or too loudly. Sometimes I just snap. And sometimes, the very special times, this all happens at once. Like it did tonight.

My lovely neighbors are either playing basketball in the ceiling (more like a wanna-be attic crawlspace area) or bouncing a ball against our wall or something equally annoying. Unless maybe I am just going crazy? In Kevin's man brain, they are just making loud, wall-banging whoopie for hours every night. Yeah, riiiiiight. But seriously, it lasts almost every night for 2-4 hours! It's even worse on the weekends. It keeps me from napping, it keeps me from sleeping at night. I am at a loss and just don't know what to do. Our neighbors are hispanic and can barely speak english - it's not like I can just knock on their door and have a civil conversation. I have attempted to write the landlord an email 3 times now but don't even know what to say. I can't just write "oh hey, I think the neighbors are running around in the non-existent attic-crawlspace thingy" because he will think I'm crazy. Ugh, this is so frustrating.

All I can say to end this post is....THANK GOODNESS I have a very forgiving husband. Most of the time during my fits of frenzy he just looks at me with his chin on the floor and laughs it off. Other days, I have to grovel a bit. Either way, he loves and my irrational moments.

Yes or no?

The beauty in life is the unexpected. You're thrown curve balls that you have to learn to deal with, but between every curve ball the unchanging tasks continue to grow. Either I need to permanently stop playing the game or I need to dodge a few extra curve balls to reduce the risk of striking out.

It's days like yesterday that make me realize that I do not always have the most accurate view of my plate and exactly how full it may be. I always think "sure, I have a little room to wedge a new task between this, that and the other thing" and I can manage a semi-successful juggle for a while. Then all the sudden my plate topples over, my house is a wreck, my husband feels neglected, I haven't accomplished what I needed to and I feel overwhelmed just picking up the pieces. When this happens, I usually always realize that the smallest wedges are often times my biggest priorities that have been squeezed and strangled to fit into a particular space. Between my different duties of working full-time, being responsible for all the finances, being a wife, being a daughter, being a sister, being an aunt, being a designer, and being a full-time housekeeper, I tend to start to unravel at both ends. And, at the end of the day, there doesn't seem to be enough time to really just be me. I'm getting swallowed up by all these new titles that "Katie" doesn't seem to be one that I recognize much anymore. It's not that I feel overwhelmed and I am saying "yes" to things that I really want to say "no" to. It's quite the opposite - I love every person and every opportunity so much that I fear if I do turn it down, the opportunity won't present itself again. I need to work on this. No, I vow to work on this.

Best weekend ever!

Some people have a husband.
Some people have a best friend.
And some lucky people have both.
So thankful I can be squeezed into the third group.


So last night, after starting our fourth movie of the day and realizing our cute bums had been permanently planted on our super comfy sectional all.day.long yesterday, all I could think was best weekend ever! Somedays all I want is to accomplish nothing. And, my friends, yesterday was that lucky day. We slept in. We snuggled. We smooched :) We vegged. We ordered in pizza (cuz it was just a pizza-kinda-night). We spoiled our pup. We talked. We listened to music. We napped. And we watched movies. And we entertained for a few in our messy house with clothes scattered about and blankets taking up temporary residence on the sofa and dishes in the sink. And I.didn't.care.one.bit!...because they're family and it doesn't matter with family. And we had a conversation about how this luxury day of lounging will be very few and far between once our future miniature arrives, so we savored each drop. And we agreed that we're ok with that. Annnnnnd the kicker...we-didn't-clean-a-thing! But best of all is I believe Champagne Thursday came early this week so tonight we're going to eat homemade-marinara with ravioli and sip peach champagne and be merry annnnnnd probably watch another movie.

Today, life is good :)

Because I want something light-hearted:

Most of my recent posts contain heavy words lately. Heavy words, followed by heavy sighs and even heavier decisions. So today - just for the sake of being lazy and wanting desperately to avoid anything that requires a decision - I am abandoning my thoughts and feelings. Instead, I offer you a light-hearted peek into this BIG heart of mine. Oh, lucky you :)

The phrase I overuse the most is:
OMG! (said like Oh Em Gee!)

Today, I am thankful for:
Diet Cherry 7Up (yes, I'm drinking soda and no, it's not Friday. ask me if I care...)

My best friend is:
my husband - I would be truly lost without him

One quirky thing about me is:
The sound of ice rattling in a glass of water (or moreso, Diet coke) is like music to my ears

This weekend I:
had a lazy day with my husband - we laid in bed all day, we napped, we watched a Chopped Championships marathon. it was magic

Something that worries me is:
fearing that we don't save as much money as we should.

On my night stand you would find:
a thermometer, a hairtie, a book and a pretty fabulous lamp

One irrational thing that really gets my blood boiling is:
when people say "oh, I know exactly how you feel" (because, you don't)

A bad habit I have is:
not recycling glass containers (for a multitude of reasons like nowhere to put them, it's a pain, etc...so yes, I am rapidly contributing to the landfill)

One of my most real fears is:
having a baby with down syndrome.

and on that note, over and out!

How do you know?

They say, as a Christian, you need to put your faith in God to provide. He is the one that knows the line between what I want and what I actually need. There is no doubt in my mind that God provides an abundance of blessings in my life. He knows exactly what I need when I need it. Along the road, He teaches me patience and in the end I always realize that His timing really is perfect. Although my God is a faithful God, I am also a firm believer in the idea that He helps those who help themselves. I do not want to knowingly catapult our family into the next stage of our lives at the risk of the timing being wrong. They say if you wait for the perfect time to have a baby, you'll never get there. Unfortunately, life happens and there isn't going to be a giant yellow lightbulb that switches on when the time is right. So the question that stems from my (our) frustration is...HOW THE HECK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHEN THE TIMING IS RIGHT?!? How do you decipher what the little butterfly in your stomach really means - excitement for something new or the gut-feeling of stepping too far off the path?

The D Word

note: i started writing this post back in january, but it seems very appropriate right now.

***

In every marriage
more than a week old,
there are grounds for divorce.
The trick is to find,
and continue to find,
grounds for marriage.

I have been looking at quotes about marriage for couple days now. Besides the occasional funny quote about annoying ones spouse or marrying for money vs. love, most seem to be less than uplifting. Looking for a positive quote about marriage? Forget it. The quote above really resonated with me. Kevin and I have been together for over 7 years. I know it doesn't seem like much against those with 10, 15, 20 years under their belt (not to mention we've only been married for less than 2), it is a good deal of time for a couple of 26 year olds. Technically, yes, we are still in the honeymoon phase. But that's not a pitfall. I hope we're in this honeymoon stage for the rest of our lives.

Lately, it seems I am surrounded by couples (mostly friends from college/high school) that are calling it quits. Yep, the big D word: DIVORCE. In our pre-marital counseling, Kevin and I were challenged to remove the word from our marriage vocabulary. It was, and still is, our goal to be one of those couples that married for the right reasons, stay together for the right reasons, and build our lives together for the right reasons. Ultimately, we didn't want to just recite our vows, we wanted to live them.

Since things have been particularly difficult for us ever since we said "I do" we have been focusing on creating a marriage based on love, honesty and open communication. If we can't talk to each other about what is bothering us, how are we supposed to deal with it? When times get particularly stressful, we bicker (mostly about the most ridiculous things!) but we always get it resolved. He is my partner and I am his. We are trying to combat this world together, sending out as many positive vibes as possible and hoping the efforts will be rewarded with simple blessings - a job and a family. Almost two years in, we are still waiting. One day. One day it will get better. We can't chooose to think any other way. Right now, we are just overwhelmingly-thankful to have each other. We're slowly learning that not much else matters.

Our positive future

There comes a time in your life when you realize
Who matters,
Who never did,
Who won't anymore...
And who always will.
...So, don't worry about people from your past,
There's a reason why they didn't make it to your future.

*And our future is so bright, it burns my eyes.*

I have been slowing shedding away the people that really don't have a purpose or a reason to be in my/our life. If you bring negative energy and drama, goodbye! If you are a one-sided friend and you are serving up a thick slice of guilt or obligation, see ya! If you are not willing to be happy with the choices I make for my own life, adios!

We need positive people, positive energy, positive outlooks. Nothing else matters.

Big joys

I found big joy in the little moments of my day today:

1. It was pay day. Although it comes like clockwork, it still is exciting. Reminds me why I spend more time at work than anywhere else in my life.
2. I have a few really close friends at work. The kind of friends you keep for a lifetime no matter what life happenings or space divides you. It's good to have true, blue friends.
3. It wasn't dark when I walked out of work at 5.30pm - hallelujah!
4. I came home to a clean kitchen and fresh-baked peanut butter cookies.
5. The moment I walked through the door I got one of my favorite hugs - the ones where he holds me until I am ready to let go. Depending on my day, I tend to linger there a little longer :)
6. The long-awaited cable was hooked up in the bedroom by my personal handy man.
7. I spent a couple hours organizing my office with the assistance of a very helpful husband. Every time I heard "now what can I do to help you, babe?" my heart fluttered a bit.
8. I gabbed it up with my sister-in-law. Sometimes, over the chatter of the girlies, we don't get much time to really talk. Not only did God give my brother the perfect companion, He gave me the sister I always wanted.

Looking at this list, I realized that I am lucky. Somedays it's harder to spot the joy, but it's always there waiting to be found.

One question:
Kevin, when you make these little gestures of love towards me, can you feel me falling for you all over again? Because I do, just a little bit more every time. It's during these moments that I feel our hearts are really connected. It's good to be with you.

Step 2

They say that if you don't like where you are at in life, change it. Take one step everyday in the right direction.

Well, I want a baby. So my first step in getting there is to get healthy. My first step in getting healthy was to significantly cutback on soda and stockup on good fluids like water and teas. Done. Turns out, I do not even crave it as much as I used to. I have decided a good compromise is to drink it only on the weekend. That way, I get 5 solid days in each week of good fluids. Bye, bye dehydration!

My second step is to take my vitamins. So, the entire month of March I will be choking down 4 vitamins per day, including folic acid. Five, if I can convince myself to buy a bottle of chewable vitamin C's. I like them too much and will basically eat them like candy (only the small ones, not the horse pills). No good, my friends. No good. However, I digress....they say that it takes 21 days to make or break a habit. March is 31 days so taking my vitamins should be a habit by then?? Yeah, we'll see. I know they are good for me but I just despise vitamins so. Perhaps because they are spendy for what you get? Anyway, on the bright side, I survived day 1 of step 2. Hopefully tomorrow will be the same :)