My thoughts at 38 weeks

At 38 weeks pregnant, let's just say pretty much everything either hurts, is uncomfortable, is swollen, is tender or is a hodge-podge combination of all of them. Today, I waddled my way on swollen feet into the appointment with Kevin and a full-bladder in tow. I think Nurse Claudia and Doc Johnson both could tell that I am now feeling the urge to hurry this pregnancy along. I'm ready to see the fruits of my labor, so to speak :)

As usual, the appointment consisted of the same ol' thing with a urine sample, blood pressure and weight. All were good! Gained a little extra over the holiday weekend, but when a husband lets a Pregs eats basically an entire homemade pumpkin pie by herself, what do you expect!?! Haha! It wasn't long after Nurse Claudia spouted off some of her best advice like "enjoy your time without baby as much as possible now" and "be sure to sleep as much as you can after baby is born to avoid the baby blues" that Doc Johnson whipped in to get down to business. I told her about all the new changes I've noticed my body going through like the fact that I waddle when I walk, I feel a lot of pressure on my pelvic floor (almost as if I feel a bowling ball is about to fall from between my legs) and that I get cramps and contractions often. Her eyes basically lit up at the sound of these changes - it's exactly what I should be experiencing at this point! She checked on baby's position...that little bugger keeps moving around. It does seem like she's once again in a head-down position, but not quite in the locked-and-loaded station like Doc hoped to see. It's okay, she still has plenty of time (?). After, we listened to her precious da-dum, da-dum, da-dum through the heartbeat monitor - it always makes us smile. Lastly, this week Doc's curiosity got the best of her and she decided to check my cervix to see how much progress, if any, I've made on my own. Thankfully, I'm already dilated to between 2-3 centimeters and, although my cervix positioning is still quite high, it is softening just as it should be. Looks like my body is really preparing itself for Claire's arrival and that's all we can really hope for at this point.

Doc made one discovery that makes me a little nervous, but I'm trying not to over-think it. She casually mentioned that my pelvis is quite narrow and that, if baby's head is large, it may prove difficult passing through. Of course, I could tell she was trying not worry me and her efforts to inform-me-without-scaring-me weren't quite working. I asked her what that might mean for the delivery and she said plenty of factors will come into play like how my body opens up for baby, how big baby's head actually is, how the plates in baby's head adjust to fit through the space and how well the pushing stage goes. It could end up being no problem, it could end up that I need some type of assistance during delivery or it could end up with a c-section. Truth is, nobody knows until we're in the thick of it. So, for now, I'm pushing negative thoughts out of my mind and I'm returning to my positive affirmations: my body was made to do this, I can do this, Kevin will be there to help me and encourage me, everything will be fine, it's all in the Lord's hands and we'll be protected. I can find peace in this things.

Waiting for Claire

*photo of Kevin and I taken by my lovely sis-in-law Lindsi

The anticipation of a new baby brings with it a mix of emotions. At times, I'm so focused on getting things accomplished that I can fight off any feelings of exhaustion or emotional defeat. Other times, like this morning, I tend to cry at the drop of a hat. In the shower I cried because I was so tired and my feet were so swollen it hurt to even stand on them. On the way to work I cried because going to work was the last thing I wanted to be doing. At my desk I cried when a coworker asked if I was ready to not be here anymore because I look tired and frazzled and just not quite me. It's crazy how the emotions can get the best of me sometimes when I've never been an overly-emotional person. But I cry the most when I'm thinking of my little girl, about her birth and about the fact that in two short weeks (or sooner) my identity will shift from being a wife, a daughter, a sister and an aunt to all those things plus mama. Like I said, the anticipation is getting the best of me. I'm ready and willing. Now, it's just a matter of waiting for her to be ready, too.

And for her, I'd wait forever.

A photo, as promised!

As promised, here I am in all my glowing glory at 36 weeks (otherwise known as 9 months) pregnant. If you can't tell by my face, I'm getting ready for baby to arrive :)
And, I'll leave with some of my most proud moments of the Thanksgiving weekend:

A) Putting on my baking clothes to help Kevin in the kitchen the morning of Thanksgiving and realizing my favorite comfy t-shirt is practically busting at the seams. I could feel Kevin shooting me looks and wondering if I knew my belly was hanging out the bottom!

B) Going to the store to buy another carton of eggs in my pajamas and flip-flops. Huffing and puffing my arthritic knees all the way upstairs just to put on jeans was too much effort. But hey, if you can't get away with going to the store in flannel pj's at 9 months pregnant, when can you?

C) Begging my mom, right before the Thanksgiving Day feast, to make the family prayer shorter because I was starving. Yes, not my proudest moment by far!

D) Eating a piece of pumpkin pie for breakfast the morning after Thanksgiving. What baby wants, baby gets :)

My Thanksgivings...

The Thanksgiving holiday brings with it the opportunity to reflect on the past year and the people or opportunities you are truly thankful for. This year, just like the past eight years, Kevin is always on the top of my list. He's not just my spouse, he's everything that I need in a best friend. He's the one that gives me the motivation to get up and go to work everyday and he's the one I get excited to come home to every night. He is home to me.

I am thankful for our beautiful home. It suits us perfectly and really feels like a home. Maybe we don't own it and maybe it's a temporary fix, but it gives us the security and comfort to bring home our new baby. This is the home in which we'll become a family.

Family is another category at the top of my list. This year, I'm especially thankful for the 3 doting grandparents and 2 great-grandparents that are waiting with bated breath to meet the newest member of the Boss and Garvey clans. She's one lucky girl to be loved so much already and she hasn't even arrived yet.

I am so very thankful for all the people that have reached out to us with gifts and encouraging cards for the baby. We feel very blessed in all that we received from friends, family and coworkers. Because of everyone's generosity and support, we feel prepared to welcome this new baby and know that we have so much support. It means more than you know.

Lastly, and perhaps most of all, I am so thankful for a healthy pregnancy and our healthy baby girl. Her papa and I are so anxious to meet her, love on her and teach her all about life. We plan to just soak up every minute with our daughter and take the journey into parenthood one step at a time. No, we may not know exactly what to expect and we won't always know exactly what we're doing, but we'll learn together. It's part of the journey. I'm just so thankful to have a man like Kevin and a family like ours to help us along the way. Little Miss Claire Madison is the best thing to ever happen to us.

This truly is my most memorable Thanksgiving to date. I am sincerely overwhelmed with gratitude and love this year.

37 weeks has arrived!

For those of you that don't know, the 37-week mark is the big one. It's the week that baby is considered full-term and, if she were born anytime between now and Dec 15, she will be perfectly able to function in the outside world. That makes my heart happy. Little Claire Bear, we did it!

Today, we had our second weekly appointment. Fortunately, there isn't much to report other than the norm. My strep culture came back negative. I stepped on the dreaded scale again (no change), left another urine sample (almost peed my pants on way into the office), had my blood pressure checked (still low and healthy), was measured (I'm spot on at 37 weeks) and heard Claire's loud heartbeat (my favorite part). Braxton Hicks is still a regular visitor in addition to even more joint pain (especially in my hands). Overall, Doc Johnson said baby is happy and healthy in there. She didn't check my cervix to see if I was dialated or effaced this week because she said there was no need. It would either only upset me if she had to tell me nothing had changed or make me anxious/anticipate labor starting early if I was already dialated to 3 and 50% effaced. So, I took her advice. We'll see what happens at our appointment next week.

For now, we wait for labor to start. Kevin and I plan to indulge in our last few days/weeks as a newlywed couple. We've been going on dates, cooking together and just basking in the silence for a little longer. As for Claire, she's just going to stay where she is, grow a little stronger, get a little chubbier and wait for the perfect arrival. Most of all, this mama is going to relax as much as possible, finish up the fun projects and commit to being worry-free about the little things that don't really matter.

*PS. Photos to come tomorrow. I promise!

What a hoot!

I've been searching for an owl mobile to hang above the changing table for a month or so now. No such luck. Most I find, although cute, are way overpriced. I have found myself saying I could make that! so often that I decided that's just what I'm going to do. Hello, pattern for cute "Hoot for the Holidays" felt owl ornament and Joann fabrics. Goodbye, spending $75 for something I can make with my own two hands. Wish me luck!

*Plus, the best part is that now I can customize the colors to match exactly. Sounds like a win-win to me :)

36 weeks with Doc Johnson

It's finally arrived - the 36 week mark. The weekly appointments start today through the last 4 weeks of my pregnancy. That means, every Wednesday morning from now until delivery will be spent in her office discussing the health and wellness of the precious little angel I am carrying. It feels surreal that I am going to be sitting there again in seven days, listing off my woes and discussing "what-to-do-if" scenarios. Even Doc Johnson couldn't believe how quickly the time has passed. To me, these past 36 weeks as a whole have flown by but some of the individual days have passed a little more slowly. Overall, I have had a great experience with her thus far.

Today's appointment included a strep culture test done in addition to my belly being measured, weight taken, urine sample taken, blood pressure checked and listening to the baby's heartbeat. My belly is measuring right on track. I've been steadily gaining right at that 1-pound per week gauge that they anticipate. My urine sample had no problems (and let me just say, it's so much easier to give samples now that I have to pee literally every second of every day). My blood pressure is always a little on the lower side of average, falling into the very good category. Baby Claire's heartbeat is as strong as ever. Doc says she's still happy in there, lounging out and enjoying her last few days of peace and quiet.

I went in with a few questions regarding my newly-acquired unquenchable thirst (which could be a sign of gestational diabetes), my Braxton Hicks contractions, and the excessive pain in my joints. Doc says that even though they ruled out gestational diabetes at the 28 week mark, they still test my urine every week for multiple things including high doses of sugar (a sign of gestational diabetes). Since my tests always come out clear and I'm not measuring for a large baby, there's no need to worry about gestational diabetes. The unquenchable thirst is just my body's way of preparing for the birth, of obtaining enough fluid to be regenerating clean amniotic fluid often and to be more hydrated for the delivery. That set my mind at ease. Plus, whoever said drinking too much water was a bad thing, right!?! As far as the Braxton Hicks contractions go, she was pleased to hear that I'm aware of them now. Says it's my uterus practicing and strengthening it's contracting muscles for the final delivery. Basically, it's a good sign that my body is doing what it should be to prepare for the big day! Lastly, our discussion regarding my joints didn't do much but reassure me that it's normal to have joint pain at this stage in pregnancy. My body is producing Relaxin (a hormone, I believe) that loosens my joints in preparation for my pelvis to open up for delivery. Unfortunately, it doesn't only loosen my pelvis, it affects all joints. That's why I feel like I have the toes, ankles, knees, hips, shoulders and fingers of an elderly person. Oh, joy! All in all, it was a short and sweet appointment. She mentioned at the end she expects things to happen in 3 weeks or so, but I'm not taking that literally. Nobody knows when this baby will be born, not even a doctor. So, we parted ways after the usual "I need to hear from you if this, this or this happens" speech and went on our merry way.

On the agenda for tomorrow evening? Our 3-hour breastfeeding preparation class at Portland Providence. Should be informative. I look forward to what it has to offer.

Caution: this is my pity party...

When a lady at my work said she was ready for her baby to be born, I was appalled. Why would you want to rush this beautiful journey? Now, I get it. I don't sleep at all anymore. The last two nights, I've spent on the couch tossing and turning, huffing and puffing, couching and sneezing, grunting and peeing. I maybe got about 3-4 hours each night. I have a cold for which I can't take any medications. I have a giant-approximately-six-pound infant in my abdomen literally sitting on my bladder. I have horrible hip and knee pain that only gets worse throughout the day accompanied with what feels like arthritis in my hands and feet. Finding a comfortable sleep position is next to impossible. To top it all off, I almost popped a hernia when trying to tie my shoe this morning. And, let's be honest, I am having a pity party for myself. I hate to admit it, but I'm ready to have this baby. Did you hear me, sweet baby Claire, your mama is READY!

*Maybe they make this last month the worst month of them all in order for women to gain the courage and, let's face it, sheer desperation to get.this.baby.out.now!

Paint, projects and preparations.

We spent a lot of time organizing and updating the nursery this weekend. Kevin and my mom spent all day taking turns painting the ceiling and the walls. Considering I am a complete control freak and, for some reason completely unlike me, left the paint color choice completely up to Kevin I was a little nervous when he cracked open that paint can. When he described it as"elephant skin" my knees began to shake a little. However, I must admit that I am very impressed with what he chose. Can't wait to share all the before and after pictures I've been taking! So, I'm happy to share that Claire's nursery is definitely coming together. Like I mentioned in an earlier post, I gave myself until this coming Wednesday (the 16th) to get the room completed. Considering Kevin has the day off tomorrow and plans to put the last coat of paint on the walls and a second coat of paint on the side table and changing table, I'd say we'll be able to hit that mark. How exciting!

One item that doesn't need any updating is the beautiful baby bassinet that we received from Kevin's grandmother. This is probably my most favorite item in the baby's room (but it will soon be relocated to our room)! The fabric is beautiful and simple. The grayish-brown, white and yellow colors are subtle, soothing and very chic. Kevin and I couldn't be happier to place our little Claire Bear in this bassinet. It's currently filled with extra sheets and blankets so it looks like I still have a little work cut out for me. Only 4 more weeks to go!

My new friend B.H.

Why, hello, Mr. Braxton Hicks!
Thanks for stopping by. Even though we only met a few days ago, our newly-frequent visits are enough to get my attention and shoot my uncomfortable meter through the roof. You and your deceiving ways have a silly way of stopping me in my tracks, leaving me to question - Is this it? The big moment? And, almost as quickly as you arrive, you've left on your way to bug one of your other lucky friends. So, as I said, thanks for stopping by. I appreciate the fact that you're working so hard to develop your muscle. Whatever can be done on your part to ensure baby arrives in a healthy, reasonable (keyword: reasonable) time frame is much appreciated. Until we meet again!
Love,
Claire's mama

I made it to 35 weeks!

Today, I am 35 weeks. That means Claire is weighing in at 5.25 pounds and measuring over 18 inches in length. She's quickly running out of extra room and packing on the weight like a bear preparing to hibernate. As for me? My uterus is now stretched up under my rib cage. I feel huge, clunky and definitely close to the end. I waddle. It's not a sway, it's not a graceful walk. It's a waddle...and when I look down at my belly as I walk, it also moves from side to side. Lovely. Since my darling little daughter likes to re-position herself multiple times per day, leaving my belly lopsided and tight, I feel uncomfortable often. The heartburn is almost a daily occurrence now. I'm still popping those Tums like candy (and I am considering sending the company a personal thank you card for getting me through some long nights).

As for the big news, I am officially 87.5% done with this pregnancy. How does it feel? Shocking! I truly cannot believe I made it this far. Some days were long, but the entire length of my pregnancy has seemed short. With only five weeks to go, I am filled with mixed emotions. Five weeks seems just around the corner but also too far away. How can this belly stretch five-more-weeks-worth? Can I make my tummy butter last through until the end? How can I wait over a whole month to meet this little creature I've grown? How can I possibly get everything done in only five weeks? How can I be completely prepared for my life to change in only five weeks? Too many questions and not enough time (or energy) to figure out the answers. So, I've officially jumped on the go-with-the-flow bandwagon. Whatever I get done, I get done. Whatever I don't, I don't. It took some time for me to realize that Claire doesn't care if her nursery isn't perfect or her quilt for her bed isn't completed or her closet isn't organized to my standards. She needs love from her mama, her papa, her family and her basic needs met. All the rest is really just stuff. At 35 weeks, I feel comforted in knowing that it will all fall into place eventually. She'll be here soon enough and that's all that matters.

Productive Weekend

I am so proud of Kevin and myself. We got so much accomplished. Not as much as I had planned (but let's be honest, that never happens!), but still enough to check a few things off the list. We finally found some girly glass knobs at Home Depot to replace the ugly white ones on Claire's dresser. It now looks so cute, I could just sing! We used our giftcards to buy our stroller and a few other items at Babies R Us (like the changing table pad and pad cover). Kevin put the stroller together in a flash! I'm so happy with the one we chose - it's very lightweight, easy to open/close, I can lift it with one hand and it won't take up my entire trunk. All huge pluses in my book! On top of that excitement, we ordered a rocking chair that we both love. It's comfy for both of us and it has a reclining feature with the pop-up foot rest. This mama is definitely going to fall asleep in that thing a time or two! Of course, I wanted to order it in a camel brown and Kevin wanted it in dark chocolate brown. We asked the sales clerk how long it would take to arrive. Her reply, much to Kevin's amusement: "In the display chocolate brown color? 7-14 days. In a custom order color? 10-12 weeks." Welp, that compromise was easy :) They were running a special that saved us $80, too! Lastly, we also picked up an adorable changing table we found on craigslist for $25. I'm so in love with it, you have no idea! Kevin spent Sunday sanding it down along with the side table we are going to use to hold a lamp next to the glider. His plan is to spend today priming and painting away. I love it when he takes projects into his own hands and runs with them. I'm excited to see his progress tonight!

After going through Claire's room again, I made a list of what we still need prior to her arrival. Although it's still getting smaller, it seems like a lot:

1. Burp cloths (we only have 1)



2. Bottle nipples (have the bottles, but no nipples)



3. Breast pump



4. Receiving blankets (only have 2)



5. Swaddlers



6. Waterproof mattress cover and sheets



7. Stroller cup holder (not an essential)



8. Stroller accessory tray (not an essential)



9. Sound machine



10. Baby wipes (have plenty of diapers, not any wipes!)



11. Changing table organizer baskets



12. Bottle sleeves (using glass bottles so need silicone safety sleeves)

Looks like November will be a rather budget-busting, expensive month for us. Oh well, such is life. I guess we're just learning that children come with so many unexpected expenses and it will only get worse. That's what we have savings for, right? :) Needless to say, this is all coming together!

Pregnancy does weird things:

1. Do you know what it's like to have to ask your husband to help you get your cumbersome preggo body out of the bathtub? I do.


2. Do you know what it's like to get winded when you bend over to take your clothes out of your front-loading dryer? I do.


3. Do you know what it's like to be so devastated over a half-gallon of melted, accidently-left-out-all-night-by-the-husband Tillamook Pumpkin ice cream that actual tears well-up in your eyes at 7.30am? I do.


4. Do you know what it's like to take your shoes off at night so carefully as to not untie them? I do. Tying my shoes when they are on my feet is actually so difficult now, I'm tempted to look into some velcro ;)


5. Do you know what it's like to feel your baby actually kick your bladder and make you have to pee right-this-second-or-else? I do.

Like I said, pregnancy does weird things.

34 weeks - 6 to go!

At 4 and 3/4 pounds and approximately 18 inches long, baby Claire is now the healthy size of a cantaloupe. Let's just say, her mama is much more aware of her growing size with every passing day. I literally have to grunt to get off the couch or out of bed, not gonna lie. Kevin actually has to come upstairs and help me get out of the bathtub, too! Last night I tried to get myself out and almost gave myself a hernia. (When they say your stomach muscles get weak, they're not kidding!) Not only is she growing like a weed, but she's also slowly losing space to wiggle around in there. That means, much more force when she's moving around to get comfortable in the womb. It's almost like a show - watching the outside of my belly poke out and move in different places. She drags her pointy little elbow or her twinkle toes across my belly and I can easily follow her movements. Literally looks like something is in there trying to get out. Kevin compares it to an alien. Every once in a while, I have to poke an elbow, a hand or a foot and remind her that she can't get out that way. It hurts on occasion but it's more entertaining than anything. She still prefers to be mostly on the right side of my body. So much so at times that my belly looks lopsided! Pretty much every evening, Kevin arrives home from work (after I do) to find me sprawled out on the couch, comfy clothes on, feet elevated, shirt up and my hands on my belly just watching the Claire Show. She continues to be the center of my world.

In other noteworthy news, she's still packing on the fat layers in preparation for life in this big world. Her central nervous system and lungs are continuing to mature. As for the mama, I'm feeling particularly tired, a little overwhelmed and somewhat stressed these days. Clarification: I am not stressed out, but I feel the stress of having a lot to do in a short amount of time. As I tick off one of forty weeks every Wednesday, I feel a stronger sense that the end is near. Restless nights full of rolling over trying to roll over, trying to find a comfortable position and frequent pee breaks (followed by a never-ending thirst quenching drink of water that only leads to more pee breaks) are starting to take a toll on me. Getting through the work day proves more and more difficult. Every time I stand up from my desk, I have to pee. *This has actually become an art because I've learned if I stand up too quickly, I may actually pee my pants. That's no joke! So, coworkers, if you see me walking half-upright down the hallway I'm just trying to keep it all together, ok?* I've actually suggested temporarily moving my desk into the bathroom but for some reason HR has a problem with that. At about 3pm every day, I'm done. I've hit a wall and it's really hard to get past it. Sometimes, making a glass of hot cider or hot cocoa can coax me from my pregnancy coma but it's not guaranteed. It's so funny because I used to be appalled when I'd hear other pregnant women say they were ready for baby to be born to take the burden off their bodies, but now I'm starting to see exactly where they are coming from. Funny how your perspective is always changing. Overall, my little cantaloupe and I are doing just fine. We have a doctor's appointment this afternoon so I'll be sure to keep you posted on it's events.

Our rituals. Plus one.

Day trips to Corvallis, visiting our old stomping grounds, eating at our favorite restaurants
and browsing the local stores. Plus one.

Mattress weekends, camping out on the living room floor with a movie marathon, popcorn and each other. Plus one.

Lazy Sunday morning pancake breakfasts walking the Monst, church and running errands. Plus one.

Relaxing on the couch in the evenings, snuggling, spoiling the Monst and catching up on our favorite shows. Plus one.

Trips to the beach house for the weekend, Mo's, campfires, good eats and great brews at Bill's Tavern and relaxing. Plus one.

Family dinners at mom and dad's, chaos, kids, conversation and usually chicken. Plus one.

Lounging in a king size bed, about 10 pillows, 2 bodies, 1 comforter and 1 Monst. Plus one.

It will definitely be different, but we look forward to the journey. And as for our rituals?

We're going to have to adjust.
We'll learn to adjust.
We're happy to adjust for our little Plus one.