making plans...

winston churchill once said that we need to "let our advance worrying become advance thinking and planning." so that's what we're doing. kevin and i have been having a lot of discussions about each of our ideal plans in the next couple years. thankfully, and luckily, we are both on the same page. dreams that once were about travelling and obtaining fancy things (like new cars) have morphed into dreams of starting a family and owning a house.

even though we are still in the same financial situation, we are trying to be smarter with our money. we are on a big "let's save every penny" binge. i've even drifted into some areas i thought i never would - like making my own laundry soap! it's not that we're bad with our money - we're actually very good with it already but could stand to not eat out as much and we can make some switches from name-brand items to off-brand products. we've learned it's all about perspective and right now, our ideal plan is to get out of our apartment and into our own home. whether that means to rent another home or buy one (eventually), we want more of our own space. saving money is one of the best ways (if not the only way, besides winning the lottery) to get there.

we also both really want to start our family. we want to be young parents. plus, we've realized that if we wait until we have more money in the bank or until we travel to every continent, it may never happen. at what point will we say "okay, we have saved enough or travelled enough to settle down?" i'm not saying that we're going to have a baby tomorrow, but it's definitely in the back of our minds.

right now, we're going to take the rest of 2010 to save and revisit the idea of having children once december rolls around. ideally, we want a home before we have a baby, but an apartment will do just fine as well.

i'm happy we're married. and i'm happy we're on the same page. lastly, i'm happy we're making plans. i really only function properly when i have a goal in mind and a plan to get there. now all we have to do is wait :)

tuesday night obsession, cont.

and so it continues. another night with my favorite 4 judges – randy, ellen, kara and the love-to-hate simon cowell.  i can’t believe we’re already down to the top 10. some people definitely don’t belong in the top 10, but i obviously have no say :)

this week’s theme: R&B music

usher is such a better mentor of the week than miley cyrus. besides the fact that i thought he fell off the face of the earth, at least he can sing! he knows the music industry and he’s not just a singer – he’s a performer. he has the “it” factor.

1. SIOBHAN – interesting song choice. she is such a character and i love it. not the best, but she will continue strong thru the competition. ps. her skirt looked like toilet paper wrapped around her hips – too funny! like ellen said “dessert before the meal!”
2. CASEY – too goofy smiling the whole time while singing. great song choice – did a good job, but not super thrilling. the backup dancers and band was a little distracting from him, the main attraction.
3. BIG MIKE – weird that he was positioned behind the judges. nice, pure performance. good voice. liked the guitar, too. big mike can sing!
4. DIDI – who cries in front of usher? really? REALLY? she is so emotionally unstable, it makes me laugh. looked very glamorous. i love her unique sound and her naive nature. song was a little too fast and didn’t seem emotional at all.  kevin thinks she tries to “act out” each song like an actress. sorry, try again next week.
5. TIM – two words for you this week – go home! not good at all. very flat in multiple parts. usher was right – we didn’t believe you. felt like a cruise singer.  ps. kevin says if you are going to wear a tie, put it on the right way.
6. ANDREW – he’s a scaredy-cat but that’s ok. looking sharp. but, again with the talking to a beat! he does have a smooth tone when he holds notes longer than a nano second. loved how he redid the song. fun performance. one of kevin’s favorites. ps. we think he should do a whole cd of cover songs in which he changes up the original. he has a real gift.
7. KATIE – aretha? aretha franklin? REALLY? this should be interesting…little girl playing dress up. trying too hard in performance, but vocals ok. can’t believe randy compared her to christina – i yelled “NOO!!!” – thanks for setting them straight simon.
8. LEE – soul songs are perfect for him. reminds me of danny gokey from last season. really great tone, lots of charisma. liked the song choice and his performance.
9. CRYSTAL – although i’m loving the piano, the guitar is a part of her. pick it back up! where’s my hippie chick with the magic carpet!?! like simon said “do not let this process suck the life out of you!” however, she’s fabulous and very real…like usher said “you got a real shot, kid” – i couldn’t agree more. nothing more to say.
10. AARON – sorry, i just don’t see it. he’s a joke to me.

my conclusion, based on tonight’s performances, is that teflon tim should go home. say goodbye to the top ten, my friend. you’ve worn out your welcome.

what if?

there are reasons for my recent doom and gloom outlook on life. at the beginning of march, i had terrible pains in my abdomen. worse than anything i’d ever felt before. if that was similar to childbirth pain, i was certain in those moments that i wanted nothing to do with bearing a child.  they came and went for days, but i never gave them much thought (besides the pessimist in me thinking my appendix was exploding). one morning i woke up to get ready for work and i could barely stand. i hobbled out of the room to the couch to avoid disturbing my husbands slumber. after my half-bent-over shower ended and i was still in pain, i woke kevin to ask him what to do. at this point, now crying in pain, he said he needed to take me to the emergency. being the paranoid anti-hospital freak that i am, i refused saying it would fade and that i “needed” to go to work. my coworkers were not as easy to work over as my husband (all women, go figure). 15 minutes past 8am and 2 advice-nurse calls later, i was in my car on the way to urgent care. i was thinking “this is it. you really did it this time, katie. avoided the hospital at all costs and now you were going to die in the waiting room of urgent care.” dramatic much? but that’s how i am with hospitals. until this moment, at 25 years old, i’d never once been to a gynecologist. call it stupid and irresponsible and whatever else you’d like. i was just scared. i didn’t feel the need to show my bits and pieces to a complete stranger!! anyway, the appointment ended up requiring not only a comprehensive female “checkup” but also a pregnancy test (negative), an external and an internal ultrasound. talk about catching up for the lost time! the results were an extra-large cyst on my right ovary. although very common, the doc was still concerned about the size and it’s progress. i’m scheduled for a follow-up ultrasound in about an month to make sure it’s either decreased in size or dissolved. oh joy!

through this entire ordeal, i was sure i’d really doomed myself by not going to the doctor regularly. once they ruled out my appendix and pinpointed the problem to my right ovary, i immediately assumed the worst. thankfully, the outcome was relatively non-serious.

everything i went through that week put things into perspective for me. i’ve gone from wanting to only adopt my children to wanting 5 kids to wanting no children to being 100% certain that i want to have atleast one baby with my husband. during those days waiting for my results, it felt like that option was slipping away from me. it tore me up inside. now that our plans are being put on hold due to job/money issues, it seems like we’ll never get to the point of having our own family. there are always “what ifs” in the back of my mind telling me that “now! now! running out of time!” is the way to go. kevin and i talk about our future and what we both want. since we are such planners, we are putting off family in order to hopefully own a house first, become more financially established, and get kevin the type of job he wants/deserves. however, step #1 (get a job) is taking so long that everything else is being pushed back also. what if, by the time we actually achieve everything we want to before having kids, it’s too late? or what if, when we decide to start trying, it takes us years to get pregnant? the most horrible part of life is the unknown. unfortunately, that’s the most exciting part of life as well. all i know is that being told that i can’t have a baby right now makes me want one even more.

we miss home.

destination: corvallis, oregon
date: someday soon

my toddler moments

this morning, my friends, i threw a fit. a complete 2-year old tantrum. i hate waking up. i hate waking up even more when it's 30 minutes earlier than normal and my husband gets to sleep in. to me, waking up before 7am should be outlawed. if it were up to me, we'd all go to sleep when we're tired, wake up in the morning when we're no longer tired and then work in between. i'm telling you, life would be much different if i could make the rules :) honestly, i don't know how i'll do it when i have kids. hopefully my kid will be like my niece and sleep in till 8 or 9am. 8 or 9am i can handle. and back from my tangent...
i flexed my schedule from 8-5.30 to 7.30-5 for one day in order to go to happy hour with the girls at 5 when we get off work. today, the thought of happy hour at 5 has been the only thing keeping me going. when 6.27am rolled around, i threw a fit...tearing through the house looking for my one specific pair of pants. i couldn't find them so of course, i figured it was kevin's fault--i woke him up to help me look, as i was envisioning being late. everybody at work knows i am not a morning person so i'd never hear the end of it if i showed up late on a day when i volunteered to come in early. and i digress again...
anyway, my loving husband was a lifesaver. he found my pants - they were conveniently stashed under the coffee table. yes, that makes perfect sense. nonetheless, i was at work on time and now it's just a countdown until $3 margaritas. yay for happy hour with the ladies. i really need it this week :)

my husband, the chef

every night i come home to some new and exciting dish that my husband has whipped up. tonight he made a perfectly delectable little strawberry mascarpone tart. yeah, just like it's no big deal. it was amazing!





jealous? i tell myself every day how lucky i am to have found a man that not only vacuums (he's cleaner than me!)...but a man that can COOK!!!
ps. sorry about the orange strawberries in the last couple photos - fluorescent lights. i didn't have the energy to fix them :)

"so depressing"

IN RESPONSE: "hey you. I read your blog, and I say keep writing what you want and what you're feeling. it's definitely not an easy time right now, even though things may be picking up for some people." ~thanks, Jen.

...

I used to be a positive person, someone that always tried to "look on the bright side." Now, as I've gotten older, I just know better. Kevin has taught me that everyone in your life will disappoint you. The only person you can really count on 100% is yourself. You know, everyone is giving me such a hard time about my blog posts being "so depressing." Yes, I guess they are not as chipper as normal but it's our life right now. I just call it like I see it. Being a positive person and putting my faith in people only burned me in the end because, more times than not, people continually disappoint me. If you consider that depressing, then so be it. Life isn't always rainbows and sunshine. I won't pretend like it is.

We are going on a vacation to Kevin's parents house in Vegas to housesit while they are in Washington DC. 12 days until Kevin leaves (he is staying 12 days total), 15 for me (I am staying 6 days total). We are counting down the days, hours, minutes... :)

my tuesday night obsession.

AMERICAN IDOL THRU THE EYES OF THE GARVEY’S

kara strutting in her over-the-knee black boots was a sight to see. looked smokin’ for sure. you go girl. ryan and ellen kissed. loved it! take some of that attention away from simon. we’re all over it.

miley cyrus graced us with her presence as the surprise guest. really? really!?! how can she be the guest mentor when she needs a singing mentor herself? that’s like a dog that can’t bark teaching another dog how to bark. i think you all understand my feelings about miss cyrus. plus, it’d be nice if the next time you are on AI, you’d wearing some pants instead of booty shorts. and i’m moving on…

i have some obvious favorites – siobhan magnus, crystal bowersox, and the classic mr. big  mike. here’s a recap through my eyes:

1. lee – first out the gate. sang ok to a song i didn’t know. not too much to comment besides i love his tone.
2. paige – boring. old fashioned. phil collins was a bad choice. as simon said “you are in serious trouble.”
3. tim -  corny song. love his hair, but that’s about all. it was a crazy little performance.
4. aaron – aerosmith was too big of a song for him. stick with miley cyrus cover songs. he belongs in the teen music world. kevin says it was too karaoke.
5. crystal – so happy she picked janis joplin. love, love. she is my favorite hippie.  the true shining star of this competition. even her dreadlocks are talented! it makes my heart swoon that you put out a carpet to perform on. as simon said “i wouldn’t change anything.”
6. big mike – when a man loves a woman made me love him even more. looking fine and sounding smooth. continually better every week.
7. andrew – he doesn’t sing, he talks to a beat. heard it through the grapevine is not a contemporary song and never will be. not very impressive. great shades, though.
8. katie – best performance from her so far in the competition. good song choice. looked very confident. don’t love her tone and was pitchy in parts, but she did a good job.
9. casey – lame-o song, yum-o face. my best advice is for him to drop american idol and become an abercrombie model. my heart melts. all i can say is a man that beautiful is a gift; a man that beautiful that can sing is a work of art. great job!
10. didi – this performance, although she needs to let go a little more, made me love ms. didi. loved the song choice. disagreed with the judges wholeheartedly (with the exception of her being too dramatic).
11. siobhan -  LOVE. that’s all i can say. oh yeah, and fierce hair. MY FAVORITE TONIGHT.

if it were up to me and kevin, we could take this from the top 11 to the top 5 tonight. my conclusion, based on tonight’s performances, is that paige should go home. say goodbye to the top ten, my friend. you’ve worn out your welcome.

feeding the duckies.

lately, kevin and i have been trying to find fun things to do that cost little or no money. today, since the weather was relatively nice, we decided to take sophia to the park to feed the ducks. when we picked her up to leave, she didn’t quite understand what we were going to do, but was willing to tag along. once we pulled up to the park and she saw all the ducks, she was intrigued. the next hour or so, her favorite phrase was “more! more!” – asking for more bread. she preferred that i stuffed each of her pockets with bread crumbs in order to avoid having to ask for more bread every couple tosses. she was not nervous around the birds at all, even the geese that stood 6 inches taller than sophia. she’d stomp right up to them and either chuck a breadcrumb full-force or feed them out of her hand. the geese made a lot of noise and sophia found them very entertaining. her feeding style was very meticulous. she would zero-in on one bird and chuck one breadcrumb at a time. if the bird she’d aimed towards didn’t get that particular piece of bread, she’d yell at the bird that did and then try again. once the bird she was trying to feed actually gobbled up the treat, sophia would yell “yay!” and start the process over again. two-thirds of a loaf of bread and one park trip later, i’d say the duck-feeding excursion was quite a success. however, in the eyes of a 2 year old, she wasn’t quite happy until she was treated to a scoop at baskin robbins. we returned her back to her mommy with bird poop on her shoes and chocolate ice cream on her sweater, pants and t-shirt! all in all, all of us had a great day for very minimal costs. like they say, the best things in life are free (or close to!).

photos now. post to follow.

extending our reach.

the fact that kevin can’t find a job has really put a strain on our marriage. don’t worry, we are not meeting with any marriage counselors or planning to divorce. honestly, we are more in love today than we were the day we married. it’s true that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. we have just been clinging to each other during this difficult time, thankful that we both still have each other. kevin has put out so much energy towards applying for various jobs throughout oregon. since nothing has stemmed from his efforts, we’ve decided to extend our reach into neighboring states. we are now setting our sights on:

• sacramento, california
• irvine, california
• san luis obispo, california
• santa barbara, california
• tucson, arizona
• las vegas, nevada

the difficult part of extending our search is knowing that if something does work out (and we’re praying it does), we’ll have to say goodbye to family and friends in oregon. i’d have to leave a job that i really like. we’d have to leave our young nieces behind and would miss watching them grow up. above everything…although it would be difficult, it would be a step in the right direction for our careers and our marriage. we’ve realized that, since i can do office work wherever we are located, it’s most important that kevin finds a job in his field to gain the necessary experience to keep moving up the ladder. if possible, i’d love to be able to get my invitation design up and going while kevin works. right now we’re on the ground staring up, hoping that someone is willing to help us onto that first step. maybe moving is what we need to start moving forward again? it’s scary to think about, but having each other makes it a little more manageable.

laughter is the best medicine.

since my mother told me she envisions me dead in my apartment from depression after she reads my blog posts, i've decided to create a positive post. for the past month or so, i've been stalking ticketmaster.com and craigslist to find chelsea handler tickets that i could afford. thursday night i finally gave up the idea of being able to attend her show last night. i couldn't afford to spend $75 per ticket. considering kevin didn't particularly want to see her, it would have been especially expensive to get him a ticket. then friday (last night) when i got home from work, i decided to look around once more. kevin was distracted by march madness and i felt my evening being smothered by basketball games! craigslist delivered some good news. i got 2 tickets for $35 each. $70 for 2 was definitely a lot more in my price range. i figured that we would have some pretty crappy seats but being there was better than nothing. when we showed up, we realized that we were in the FOURTH ROW!!! it worked out perfectly because, as we were rushing out the door to leave, i forgot my glasses. we were up so close with our fabulous ticket find, i could still see her. i didn't even have to look at the jumbo-tron screen! and smug little me was thinking "all these people around me paid so much more than i did. am i good or what!?!"

when we first got through the doors, there was a book table with a bunch of wristbands, one per book. kevin and i bought a book (thankfully they were just the regular listed price, not jacked up because of the signing). the wristbands allowed us to stay after the show to meet chelsea and get our books signed. it was very exciting. all these girls around me were freaking out - "omg what am i gonna say to her? do i look okay? etc." and i just walked up and asked if she was tired. by this point, it was past 1am. plus, this was the 3rd book signing she had to do that day. we talked for a little bit. i admired how funny, pretty and genuine she seemed. she said she loved portland, that our city was beautiful. and then it was over. now i have two books - one signed to my friend Veronica (she loves chelsea) and one for myself. guess i'll be taking back the exact same book i just bought from target two days ago. oh well, that's why i keep my receipts.

all in all, the show was hilarious. i laughed and laughed, without a care in the world. it was definitely fun to get out on the town with my husband and be entertained. what a perfect way to start off a 3-day weekend. thanks for coming to portland, ms. handler!

sometimes you just gotta get away...

kevin, the monst, and i have a date with the sand, the sun, clam chowder, kites and a three-day weekend.

seaside, oregon here we come!

I've said it once and I'll say it again.

Kevin can’t get a job, because he doesn’t have enough experience. Kevin doesn’t have enough experience because he can’t get a job. No experience – no job. No job – no experience. REALLY? That, my friends, is why his degree is worth nothing. It just hangs on the wall collecting dust.

It’s true. Maybe my emotions have gotten the best of me recently. And maybe I have been full of self-pity. But I can’t say I’m over it. The most commonly used phrase lately has been “it’s not fair”…because, to us, it really isn’t fair. Everyone says your 20’s (and being newlyweds) is supposed to be all fun and no responsibilities. We’re not supposed to be stressing about money. We’re not supposed to be worrying about how to save money when, at the end of the day, there’s nothing left to save. As a couple, it used to be all sunbeams and happiness. Now it’s turned into feeling dejected and that nobody understands. All of the sudden, everyone around me seems to have forgotten about the recession. Like it never happened, as if they weren’t affected by it in the slightest. Well, great for you. Enjoy it. Live it up. One day, it’ll come back around. You’ll see. And you know what I’ll tell you? Nope, not to “wait it out” or “just believe” or “it could be worse.” I’ll say “yes, it really sucks. I’ve been there.” and “in this moment, life really isn’t fair for you.” Why is that SO HARD?

Let’s change the perspective. If we didn’t get help from Kevin’s parents, we’d be homeless. Or, gulp!...living with my parents! Not that living with my parents would be horrible, but as a married couple, we need our own space. We’re 25 and should have the luxury of living like 25 year olds. What that is, I’m not quite sure…but I am certain it does not involve living back at home with mommy and daddy. I don’t make enough money to break even each month. And saving for the future? People, there is no money left to save. My paycheck alone can’t cover our rent, car insurance, internet, cable, food, gas or other miscellaneous expenses. Get rid of my internet or cable? Sell some of our stuff? Why should we have to get rid of simple luxuries if that’s all we have to stay entertained? We’re not going out every night and spending all our money partying or on shopping sprees. I wish. We spend every night (pretty much) in our apartment cooking and watching tv. At 25, we’ve officially become an old married couple with no life. And so now I say…LIFE JUST ISN’T FAIR.

in my own words.

i swear if i hear one more person tell me that "it could be worse" or "look on the bright side" or "it's just the economy" i will punch their lights out. you have no right to judge me. you're not standing in my shoes. i have every right to be pissed, feel cheated and lied to. i have earned my right to be bitter. it's not supposed to be this way. when will it get better? for us? for our marriage? when will the good guy win? we do everything by the books, but i can tell by looking around that only those that screw the system ever make it. maybe we should just take out multiple loans and credits cards to get the things we want and need? maybe going into debt is the true answer? thanks alot, education, a great deal of good you did me.

big sigh.

i don't think that staplers need to be automatic. to me, the idea that we can't take the 2 seconds out of our busy day to hit a stapler is absurd. and very sad. who are we to claim that our time is worth more? and i don't think that we need instant potatoes. whatever happened to doing things the old fashioned way? when did our lives pass by so fast, that we didn't have to time to boil water?

we complained that taking film photographs wasn't efficient enough. now, film is nearly obsolete. digital is all the rage. but what about the nostalgia of real photographs printed from film? holding the negatives up to the light and squinting to decipher one image from another? what about the fact that i now have a digital camera that, although helpful when trying to capture a perfect image with the delete function, holds all my photos like a ticking time bomb. do i ever look back through the photos? rarely. do i ever ::gasp:: get them printed? never.

i want to go back to the times when my hardest decision was what to wear that day or which responsibility to avoid first. when deciding what i would wear the first day back at school seemed like a crisis. the days when driving with the windows down and radio cranked up was considered running errands. i miss the days when people had to cancel their plans because they had to work, because they took their jobs seriously. when we will all have jobs again? when will life get back to normal?

dear recession,
i hate you.
although i have learned from you,
i will not look back at you with fond memories.
you may leave now.
without hesitation,
katie

a quote.

"Sometimes you have to be strong for yourself. You have to know that you’re a good person and a good friend. What’s meant to be will end up good and what’s not - won’t. Love is worth fighting for, but sometimes you can’t be the only one fighting. At times, people need to fight for you. If they don’t, you just have to move on and realize what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you. Hopefully, people realize great things when they come around and not lose something real. Always fight, until you can’t anymore, and then be fought for."

The Office: My version.

Sounds like somebody's got a case of the Mondays...except it's Thursday. I have learned so much about working in an office environment. There are so many things that just tick me off! For instance, if you were calling a company solely because you wanted their mailing address, why in the world would you have to put them on a hold for a whole minute to get a pen and paper!?! Shouldn't you have anticipated the fact that in order to jot down an address, you may need a flipping pen? Or how about when people call me then right after I answer, they put me on hold for like 5 minutes! It's called common courtesy people. On another note...Honestly, I think that gum should not be allowed in the office. It is so annoying to listen to a coworker smacking on their gum so deliberately, their jaw is about to fall off! Are you really that mad at your gum? Do you really want your teeth to fall out? How many pieces are you going to shove in your mouth, anyway? It was not until this whole gum fiasco started that I realized why my mother would yell at us, and threaten to make us spit out our gum, if we didn't stop smacking our lips. Mother, you have my sincerest apologies for making you listen to that all those years. Thank you for teaching me to chew with my mouth closed. I really did underestimate that trait until now. Lastly (for today) it irks me to no end when people call to say that they didn't receive this or that mailing. Once I read them their mailing address on file--the mailing address they specifically gave us, mind you--they say "oh, of course I didn't get it! that's not even the correct address! didn't you know that we moved?" Excuse me, sir. Obviously, I didn't know that. Sorry, my radar for automatically updating each business's mailing address must be out of function today. Sorry for the inconvenience, bucko. Honestly, I love my job. Today was just a particularly difficult day and I needed to vent. There are many entertaining moments working in an office and thankfully, I love my coworkers. So although I get irritated, it's not so bad :)

I'm sure there will be many more similar posts to come. I feel so much better already!

Weighing the options.

February came and went in the blink of an eye! It feels like time is moving so fast and so slow at the same time. One day will fly by and the next seems like it's never going to end. Not much has changed around the Garvey household. The job hunt has gotten the best of Kevin lately, but he's trying his best to stay positive. Monster is still our pride and joy - she never ceases to make life interesting. The weather has been teasing us lately. One day it's sunny and "warm"...the next day it's raining and overcast. We are ready for Spring more than you know. Kevin is itching to start barbecuing again and I'm itching to spend more time on our patio. One day we'll have a real house with a real yard that I can plant flowers and vegetables in! For now, I just settle for a couple hanging baskets. :)

Speaking of housing, our lease is up this June. It still seems fairly far enough away to not think about it, but it too will sneak up on us. We just get so caught up in the day-to-day that I tend to push the big stuff to the back burner. Anyway, we are trying to decide whether we want to move closer to my work. The move wouldn't be out of necessity, but rather for a change of scenery. Our options are to find a different apartment/townhouse to rent. We have also been toying with the idea of possibly renting a teeny tiny house in Gladstone or the Milwaukie/Portland area. Monster is dying for her own space to run around and most apartments don't have fenced-in yards. I know that houses come with their own set of extra responsibilities as compared to apartments, but it would be nice to have more of our own space. In apartments, it's difficult to have people over. It'd be nice to have a backyard to have barbecues and not be cooped up inside all summer. It'd be nice to not hear our neighbors scream at each other and running around outside/upstairs. However, houses usually don't come with a washer/dryer - which we don't have! Often there is much more maintenance involved with the yard, more rooms to clean, etc. I guess we just need to weigh out the pros and cons of each then decide. I guess, since we started early, we do have some time to consider our wants/needs. Have any suggestions?

Considering I have this coming Monday off, we plan to go to my parents beach house for 3 days. It is supposed to be beautiful at the Coast on Saturday, but you never know in Oregon. Here's hoping for good weather, fresh clam chowder, a ride or two down the river and strolling the Oregon Coast. I promise to take lots of photos, weather willing of course!