I've told many people that I've never been less stressed and calm than I have been since becoming pregnant. It's like all the little things don't matter anymore. There is so much going on that is more important than stressing about work or bills or the budget or our 5-year plan. I'm growing a life inside me. It's a beautiful and happy distraction that has really opened my eyes to what matters and what really doesn't.
I've noticed more and more that some people (un?)intentionally push their negative thoughts into my happy bubble and I'm learning how to work through those situations with tact. I'd really just like to tell them to stick it where the sun don't shine, but I don't want to be that kind of mother or person. This is my beautiful moment in my life. One I may never get to experience again. I may never have another baby and that's all the more reason to cherish the beauty of becoming a mother. The anticipation of jumping feet first into this new chapter of my life. I don't need my perspective clouded with thoughts that my life is over or that I'm never going to have another second to myself ever again. I don't believe that's true (or helpful) to tell an expectant mama.
Why can't people just talk about how great being a mother is? How rewarding it is to teach your children about life and watch them grow? I get more joy from my nieces than almost any other person on earth. Yes, sometimes it's tough when they fight or disobey but it's also a deep, satisfying experience to love another person more than you love yourself. Babies bring you back to life. Their little minds are always spinning and they teach you about what it means to live. They show you how to find the beauty in the simple things and appreciate them for what they are. I don't think I've ever been as excited about anything as much as my niece Sophia is when she sees an airplane or a butterfly. Or when Peyton greets you at the door with a chesire grin on her face and her hands up in the air. I wish we didn't lose that spark as we grow older. I suppose that light is snuffed out little-by-little as responsibilities and schedules push the adventure and play out of sight. You can call me a naive mama, but I believe that my Baby Girl will bring that part of me back to life. And I can't wait. She's going to teach me so much more than I can ever teach her. I just know it.
We're headed to the beach to be with family in honor of this lovely labor day weekend after going to the Oregon State Fair tonight. Grew up listening to the Judds and they're in concert at the fair tonight. Cannot wait. Funnel cake, here I come. And I am determined to make chocolate chip cookies with my niece. Finally, there will be enough people in one place to eat the whole batch. This is going to be one of the best weekends. I just know it.
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