Are you scared?

I've been asked that question many times whenever the baby wiggles her way into a conversation.

Aren't you scared it's going to hurt?
your epidural won't work?
you'll go to the bathroom during the delivery?
you won't be able to breastfeed?
you will have to have a c-section?
Aren't you scared to take care of a new baby?

Well, in short, yes and no. Here are the things I think about:

LABOR PAINS
Nobody likes to be in pain. I really don't like to be in pain. I cried when I got my ears double-pierced. So, to say that I am not nervous about the pain would be false. Of course it's scary. But, pain is fleeting and it won't last forever.

DELIVERY
I would say that I am a little hesitant about the birth, but I believe that's normal and expected (especially for a new mama). Thankfully, I have complete confidence in Doctor Johnson. She has the best of intentions to keep me and my baby safe. The trust is there 100%.

BREASTFEEDING
I sometimes get nervous when I think about difficulties friends of mine have had when trying to breastfeed. That is usually a fleeting fear, though, when I remember that it's natural. My body was meant to do it. The baby is born with the instincts to do it. Sure, it may take time for me and baby to learn, but we'll just take it one day at a time.

HOSPITAL STAY
I'd be lying if I said I was thrilled about the thought of staying in the hospital. For some reason, they have always freaked me out. Something about the smells, the sick people, the heinous carpeting, dark rooms, the needles, blood and bland food. I'm just choosing to trust that everything will be fine. If it's the best place for me and baby, then I am okay with being there. Because I don't know how I will feel post-birth, I've decided that I my best plan is to just be honest with the people that come to visit. If I don't feel up to having visitors, we'll reschedule for when I'm home. If I need privacy or quiet time, I'll voice that. If I am tired and want baby to be in the nursery for a while, that's okay. It doesn't mean I'm a bad mama. It means I have to take care of myself in order to be a better mama. And nobody is going to begrudge a tired, new mama for being honest.

NEWBORN STAGE
But as far as bringing baby home and caring for a newborn? I'm not scared. I have complete trust in my mothering instincts and know that I have learned many tricks of the trade while helping with my newborn nieces. One of my favorite bloggers said it best:

You have everything it takes.
You just don't know it yet.
Whenever you feel
exhausted,
confused,
incapable,
or at your wit's end...
look within.
Trust your instincts.

I truly believe that. Women have been having babies and raising children for years. I feel honored to be able to follow in their footsteps. This will be one life-changing journey and I'm ready to jump right in. Mostly, I just can't wait to meet this little lady twirling around in my belly!