Coffee and Conversation

Enjoyed a fabulous blended vanilla chai and an even better conversation with an old friend about babies, our marriages, our husbands and how our lives have taken us where we didn’t expect to go. There really is nothing like the kind of friend that you only see every once in a while, but each moment together seems like you’ve never been apart. She is that kind of friend – open, honest and somebody with whom you can really have a heart to heart session without holding back. The conversation led to where we are now (how our lives have changed) versus where we thought we’d be. She had things that I only dream about and vice-versa. Sometimes it’s nice to hear that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Even more so, it made me think that life never takes you where you plan. For someone like me, it’s frustrating not to know what’s up ahead. I’m doing my best to live in the moment – to really be here in the present – without letting my mind drift towards what I want or don’t have. Instead, I should be soaking up where I am at because I’ll never get back here again. I’m a determined, “go-getter” kind of person. After spending my young life working towards getting to high school, then focusing on graduating high school and getting into college, to spending 5 years focusing on getting my degree and planning a wedding/getting married, it feels weird to not have a goal I have to be working toward. I realize one of my downfalls is being so blinded by what I want that I become oblivious to the blessings I have been given. Often I wish for a glimpse into the future, just a peak at where we’ll be in 1, 3, 5 years. But, not only is that impossible, but it wouldn’t really help much. Even if I saw where we’ll be in 5 years, I still would not have any idea which paths we took to get there. That’s the thing about life….although the unknown makes my heart nervous and my stomach flutter, the unknown also has a beauty all it’s own. It’s an adventure that I can’t control. If I knew everything that was going to happen, I’d waste my life away wishing for moments in the future that may seem grander than where I’m at now. Eventually, I imagine I’d get to a point where I realized I wished my whole life away for something better. My focus is now on the present, what I have to offer today and what blessings are in my possession today because who knows where I’ll be tomorrow.