Dear Claire,
I just put you down to sleep for yet another night in your bassinet. The thought of little you sleeping in your big crib all alone just makes my heart ache. You're growing so quickly. Too quickly. If only I could freeze time and bottle up all my moments with you, to remember you this way always. Instead of our usual bedtime routine, tonight I let it linger. You had fallen asleep almost as soon as you hit my chest but I just wanted to hold you a little longer and breathe you in. To listen to you in the silence, coming and going with each breath. So, as I savored your weight in the crook of my arm, I kept repeating to myself just a little longer, just a little longer. I don't think my heart was referring to how much longer I was going to rock you, but rather reminding myself that you'll only be this way for a little longer. Pretty soon, you won't want to be rocking with me in your nursery and you won't need me for everything anymore. You'll be tying your own shoes and going to sleepovers and making your own pb&j sandwiches. You'll be fulfilling the dreams that every parent has for their child in record time and I will be so proud. But for now, while you're still little, I'm going to bend the rules and "forget" the bedtime routines so I can hold you just a little bit longer.
You are my heart.
Love,
your mama
and now you know how a parent can always love their child unconditionally. Through the years when they want nothing to do with you unless it benefits them, how when they crush your heart with words that hurt you can overlook it, because, you know this too shall pass. Until you become a parent and experience this overwhelming love for another human being that you created you cannot understand that unconditional love. I love you and I am so glad that you have that little someone in your life. mom
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