Because motherhood is hard.

I miss those days when my knees didn't ache, my mind wasn't consumed with feeding schedules and my breasts were still mine. The days when I could get more accomplished than just feeding a newborn and wedging in a nap or two. The days when I had clothes that were both clean and actually fit me. The days when getting through a 9 hour day at the office and what I was going to pack for lunch were the biggest hurdles I had to jump through. The days when I knew once 5.30pm rolled around, I was golden, when the evenings and weekends were mine. Some days, just some days, I wish I was the one that got to go to bed early because I had to work the next day. I wish I was the one that didn't have the 12am, 4am and 6am feeding shifts interrupting my sleep. I wish I was the one that got to punch-in and punch-out instead of working a 24/7 job. I wish I was the one that got to take an uninterrupted shower, drive in a cry-less car, have adult conversations not involving formula or pooping schedules, have time to myself to clear my head or better yet shave my legs. Yes, it's true -- I get envious when Kevin pulls out of the driveway because, let's face it, motherhood is hard. Most women don't talk about this part, nonetheless document it, but in my opinion it doesn't make me a bad mama. It makes me an honest mama. We've all been there - the endless nights when the baby just doesn't wanna sleep. The early mornings when the baby wakes up before both God and the sun. The frustrating fussiness that no amount of bouncing, shish-ing, singing, rocking, swaying or white noise can cure. The never-ending game of let's-see-how-long-this-clean-diaper-will-last-before-I-have-to-change-it-again. The crying for seemingly no reason at all. All of these scenarios happen to the best of us. Why not be honest about it?

What I do know is that on the particularly rough days, when all I want to do is runaway - I always make it through somehow.

So, I've said it. It's written down - motherhood is hard. Now I can just accept it and move forward with my beautiful baby girl. She is so worth it.