written 5/24/11
*you cry during the Justin Bieber movie
*you have to completely bypass the seafood counter at the supermarket
*you go through twice as much toilet paper
*you make a huge pot of taco soup and then toss it without ever sampling it - now, the thought of taco soup makes me gag
*you take off your bra and it feels as if 2 boulders have fallen out (TMI? haha)
*you cannot even think about water without having to pee
*the thought of talking on the phone makes you feel exhausted
*you can't eat very much at one sitting and you get full very fast
*you start to cry and your husband says "don't go all pregnant on me, puh-lease"
*the idea of wearing jeans that buckle at your lower waist makes you cringe
*in your mind, drinking orange juice is equivalent to drinking battery acid
*it seems perfectly acceptable to ask your husband for a late-night taco and oreo shake run (yes, together)
*one day, you crave onions and the next day, you can't even smell them without gagging
*your husband claims that he has Couvade Syndrome (def: when the spouse of a pregnant woman claims he feels all the same symptoms)...oh, brother!
*you develop such a close relationship with your toilet, you're thinking about naming it
*people start giving you snarky looks, they can just tell...(I hate lying to people to cover up the fact that I'm pregnant - it feels dirty)
*your favorite foods are no longer your favorite
*you have to pull over on the shoulder of the road because you started puking on yourself while driving
*the idea of registering at BabiesRUs and/or Target makes you giddy
*you can't sleep for the life of you (if I go to bed early because I am exhausted, I will wake up at 4.30am and not be able to go back to sleep, but if I go to bed at 11, I will still wake up at 4.30am and not be able to go back to sleep...I'm guessing my days of Tylenol PM are over, what a shame!)
*you wake up every morning with a severly congested nose and throat - the beauty of this discovery is the fact that if I try to clear it, I usually gag and/or throw up on myself...fun!
*you have already started thinking about stocking up on diapers now, when coupons are a'plenty (oh yeah, and money)
*you can't hardly wait to go to Fabric Depot with mom to pick out the nursery fabric
*you are counting down the days until garage sale season so you can buy stuff for the baby room to refurbish together
*you would claw someone (and or pay well above the asking price) in the parking lot of Costco to buy you a box of all-natural Stretch Island Fruit Strips
*all the sudden you gotta go RIGHT. NOW. and feel like your bladder is going to burst
*your friends talk about going to Happy Hour and all you can think about is the FOOD specials ;)
*the taste of toothpaste makes you gag, puke in the sink and pee on yourself basically all at once (lovely) then immediately cry-that-ugly-face-cry like a little baby and say "wow, I hate being pregnant"
*the phrase "i hate being pregnant" is a common new saying in your vocabulary
*every time you think of baby, you smile and it somehow makes it all worth it
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