you know i'm really trying to understand and trying even harder not to be bitter. kevin and i both worked our butts off in school. we waited for a long time before getting engaged. we waited until we both graduated before getting married. we got really good grades and cared about our classes. we didn't fail out our freshman year or party so much that we couldn't make it to class. we weren't frivolous with our money or rack up thousands in credit card bills. we didn't buy new cars as soon as we signed onto our new outta-college jobs. we didn't run out and buy a house we couldn't afford. we haven't had 1, 2 or 3 kids before OR after marriage. it seems like we've done everything right, the way people expected us to. we met the expectations we had for ourselves. and it still seems like we are behind every one of our friends or acquaintances. can someone please tell me what we are doing wrong!?! this has to be one of the must frustrating stages in my life and in our marriage thus far. why don't we have the job(s) paying what we deserve? why is my husband now unemployed? why aren't we excited about house-hunting or babies on the way or the new car we're driving off the lot or the fun vacation we'll be taking soon or the big promotion we're up for? oh i know why, because for some reason, it's just not happening for us. i know alot of those mentioned are just things, but they seem like so much more when you can't have them. to everyone else, they seem to be handed out left and right.
i'm not trying to sound like a brat but every time i turn around, one of my friends is popping out another baby or buying a house or car or going to some tropical island. another friend is making 3 times more than me and DOESNT have a degree. another friend or two is living off umemployment as happy as can be, living life by doing nothing all day and collecting probably as much as i make with a full time job! ridiculous! i just don't know what we worked so hard for? our two pieces of paper hanging on the wall with OSU engraved in the mighty orange and black? hardly worth it. now nothing seems to have paid off. sure, we have food on our table and we have a small apartment to call home. thankfully we have parents willing to help us out when needed (which is quite often lately). but that's just it--why do we need it? it's like we're doing everything right, but we don't have anything to show for what we've been working toward over the last 6 years. and now that kevin's not working, it is only going to go downhill from here.
so yes, i'm throwing us a pity party. and i could care less if it's unbecoming of me. and i have every right to feel like we've been cheated out of so many things the so-called "fabulous post-college real world" has to offer. if we had left college and worked for the past six years, we'd be a hell of a lot farther than we are today. i know it's not like we're on the streets or have terminal cancer. and i know i should be thankful that i'm still employed, but i can't help but be pissed off. my only question is...when is it our turn? when does the good guy win?
hang in there, hon. your turn is coming. all of the people your age who are doing all of the things that you want to do are going about it in a less prioritized way and are probably going into mega debt in the process. it's not worth it! you're going to enjoy life's gifts so much more when you're a little more established and a lot more financially prepared. just be patient- you and kev still have loads of time.
ReplyDeleteYou and Kevin did everything right and we are all so proud of you for it. Don't blame yourselves for any shortcomings. It's the recession, economy, the state of the world, whatever you want to call it. Both of you have a bright future ahead of you. You will get through this. You will have meaningful jobs, a house, children. IT WILL HAPPEN. Believe.
ReplyDeleteLove, Karen