Milestones are hard.

When Claire learned how to hold her own bottle, I was thankful for the extra time it allowed me while she fed herself. When she learned how to sit up, I was so excited for her because you could tell she was happy with her new perspective. When she started to use her high chair, feeding her became more fun and less of an obligation. When she outgrew her baby bathtub and started to bathe in the regular tub, I found myself looking forward to bath time more because she had more fun that just washing the necessary parts and drying off. When she learned to stand, I was happy but always a bit nervous about her unstable balance. When she learned to crawl, I was a little more shocked than anything. How could she be crawling already? Where did my little baby go? As a new mother, I want to be proud of all her milestones, but I want to keep her little more. It's hard to explain, this weird bittersweet state between being so proud yet so sad that she's growing up so quickly. Ever since the three days in a row of learning to feed herself crackers, stand up in her crib, and crawl, I feel like the milestones are being checked off the list nearly every day. All the sudden, she has two teeth. She can wave bye-bye. She knows how to shake her head "no-no" and thinks it's funny. Two days ago I witnessed her standing up and balancing on her own. Last night, she was dancing to the music playing from the buttons she was pushing on her activity table. See? It's just one thing after another. So, on the rare occasion that she wakes in the night and wants to nuzzle with her head into my chest, I soak in those moments a little deeper. I snuggle her in my arms longer. I kiss her more often and sing lullabies more than just once. Because, I know one day soon she will be past this phase and I will miss it more than she will ever know.