writers block.

i have been putting off posting because i have writers block. everything that i would normally blog about is a "what if?" hypothetical state right now. kevin and i spend our time talking about our dreams and what we really want out of life. if anything good has come out of this awful recession, it's that it forced us to prioritize what we both really want for ourselves and for our marriage. at one time, we wanted to have alone time and travel before settling down with little punks...but now we realize, there won't be any perfect time to have children. you just have to make an educated decision and jump in head first. right now, we're enjoying dipping our toes in...

kevin spends his evenings searching for cars on the internet. let me clarify...he's searching for baby-safe cars/suvs/cross-overs. he carefully considers the size of the backseat (to make sure it can comfortably fit a carseat or two). other considerations include the ability to easily put a kid in/out of the car and the safety readings, price range, etc. i think it's cute that he takes it so seriously. my little researcher!

on the other side, i spend my night in the bathtub reading my pre-pregnancy books. when i get my fill of reading, i spend time searching baby-related things on the internet. birth stories and videos fascinate me. i consider baby name combinations. dream of nursery colors/patterns/themes, etc. we discuss our plans to raise our kids, what we want/don't want, discipline options, etc. i think we'll be more on the stricter side, but i dont't think that's a bad thing. kids need structure and need to know their parents mean business. anyway, i digress...as you can tell, both of our clocks are ticking. at full speed. is that normal?

right now, we are in that awkward in-between stage. stuck between a rock (what we have to do) and a hard place (what we want but can't acquire). i must admit, it's getting old. kevin just needs to get a job. please, universe, give him a chance. he's brilliant and fabulous - you'll see! once we jump that job hurdle, it'll be all babies in the works. you mark my words :)