If not now, when?

I've always been the one to stand on my own two feet. I've been the "tough one" - the "independent one" - the "outspoken one" because I've had to be. I know what I want and I'm actually willing to work for it, unlike alot of the people around me. To me, life is about making the choices that are right for yourself and I truly believe that. No matter how many people offer their [unsolicited] opinions, I consider it then choose what is best for me. You only live once. Why choose to live life the way somebody else thinks is best? Why act in a way that isn't true to yourself and your own convictions? Stand up for yourself and for those you love. In my opinion, if you believe that you've been wronged or you believe that you deserve better, you are right. This is definitely a belief I plan to instill in my children. It's dog-eat-dog out there. Loyalty is the glue that keeps you connected to those that really, truly care about you. Lately, I've seen the glue buckling and, I must say, I've been disappointed. But, as I said earlier, I am a strong, independent woman - ready to face whatever life throws at me.

As I've gotten older, I've learned that each decision I make does directly relate to my successes and failures -as a wife, a daughter, an aunt, a sister, a friend, a coworker. Right now, I am at the point where I am making decisions based on my family's needs. That is, Kevin and myself. As a couple, we are moving in one direction. We are open about our dreams, our goals, our shortcomings and our triumphs. We both want the same things in life. Extended family life has been hectic and drama-filled, but I've learned to distance myself. Just because you're family, doesn't mean anything. You don't get to pick your family, but you do get to pick your spouse. Truth is, you can't always depend on the people you think you should. Kevin and I make our own family. Besides my job, there is nothing keeping me in Oregon anymore. I pray everyday that Kevin will be offered a job in Nevada, California, Washington or Arizona. I need to start living my life for me and for Kevin. Nothing else matters. At age 25, if I don't start to make my decisions based solely what benefits me, when will I? My attitude now is....."If not now, when?"