Baby blues.

I wasn't going to blog about this because
1. nobody knows
2. it may be TMI
3. it makes me sad
...but since this blog is essentially an overview of our life, I guess we should include all the big moments and the small. The last couple weeks have been a big moment, to say the least. Up until today, Kevin and I thought that I was expecting.

Let's start at the beginning. August 26, 1997 I became a "woman" ... I have always been very regular. I'm not on birth control. Kevin and I have decided that what is meant to be will be. So, we are just waiting for pregnancy to happen on it's own. We are not "trying" but we are not not trying either. I was expecting to start my cycle again on June 16th (I have always been very, very regular) but when I didn't, I thought that was odd. Took a couple tests over the span of a few days, but all were negative. I must admit, it is devastating when you don't see that little plus sign! I really thought this was our little blessing to come through all the crap we've been through lately. It'd be nice to have a silver-lining in those dark clouds above us somewhere.

Being 10 days late on Friday, Kevin and I went in to the doctor to have a urine test done there. Negative. They decided to do a blood test. (Mind you, I have never had my blood drawn before and I HATE needles!) I had to have my blood drawn THREE times! As if that wasn't enough torture, waiting for the results all day Saturday and Sunday was worse! Sunday afternoon, I got a call - false alarm! I had to go back in on Sunday to have my blood drawn again. They said there was something wrong with my blood specimen. *Later, we found out that meant they didn't mark my vial, essentially losing my blood.

That, in a nutshell, brings us to today. Multiple negative home tests and 3 blood draws later, I got the call this morning. Blood test was negative. Although it was sad to hear, it's nice just to know a definitive answer. I rest in peace knowing that Kevin and I have a plan...A very detailed plan that includes trying to become pregnant at the end of 2010 or very early in 2011, no matter what. Above all, God has an even better plan and sometimes, you have to learn patience.